20-something metrosexual: She just uses my penis whenever she wants.
Middle-aged man eating eclair: Mmm-hmm.
20-something metrosexual: Like, last weekend she used me as a rebound fuck.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Amused Straphanger
20-something metrosexual: She just uses my penis whenever she wants.
Middle-aged man eating eclair: Mmm-hmm.
20-something metrosexual: Like, last weekend she used me as a rebound fuck.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Amused Straphanger
Bimbo #1: What is The Vagina Monologues about?
Bimbo #2: I think its about like… The history of like…
Older man, stretching: Penises.
–New York Sports Club, 86th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: stillinshock
Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.
–R Train
Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!
–40th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: melissa
Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.
–Union Square
Overheard by: smoking on the stoop
Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.
–17th St & Broadway
Happy old drunk guy, to no one in particular: Eldridge Street, god bless us, every one! Eldridge street!
–Eldridge Street & Broome Street
Drunk girl to friend: There she goes! Being all Rosa Parks, as usual, saving her tribe …
–2nd Ave b/w 5th & 6th
Drunk girl outside bar: If I ever have children, I want them to be as fucked up as I am!
–West Village
Overheard by: AsherO
Drunk girl: I'm so hungry I could eat a dick!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: teagle
Loud drunk girl at table with friends: Ashton sat on my lovesack!
–Blockheads
Cute little Latina girl: Bye!
Creepy 40-something white man: Bye now!
(little girl looks back and waves again)
Cute little Latina girl: See ya later, alligator!
Creepy 40-something white man: In a while, cock child.
Cute little Latina girl, confused: No. It's “in a while crocodile,” silly!.
Creepy man: Oh, I thought it was “cock child.”
–N Train
Overheard by: BJ MacKay
Teenage girl: He plays with his 25-inch monster all day in his room.
Teenage boy: Are you talking about a computer or a penis?
–High School, Queens
20-something #1: Men don't kiss whores, they fuck 'em! There's no attachment at all!
20-something #2: What the hell are you talking about?! There's attachment! The dicks are attached to the pussy!
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Sienna
Asian girl: A tranny spat and peed on me last night… so I guess I'm okay.
–Screaming MiMi's Boutique
Overheard by: Nancy
Gay guy, after woman bumps into him: Did you just step on my vagina?
–A Train
College boy: So then I woke up and realized I was next to a tranny…
–Manhattan College
"Girl" sitting at the door: My panties are too small to hold my dick in.
–Williamsburg
Catholic school girl, carrying large backpack, to friend: I'm looking forward to leaving this bathroom a guy. A very effeminate guy, but still a guy.
–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Innocent Bathroom-goer
Young teen boy #1: If you like the pussy, you gay nigga. You only straight if you like dick. Box-eatin' nigga.
Young teen boy #2: That's, like, the coolest shit I ever heard.
–Troutman & Central, Bushwick
Overheard by: john.ainley
Girl #1: And that's how I made his dick look like a Christmas tree.
Girl #2, excitedly clapping: Decoupage!
–Midtown
