Wednesday 1:00-Liners

Dude, in front of closed Staples: Staples doesn't open until fucking noon? What are we, in a goddamn small town? Noon? Am I supposed to be in fucking church right now? God!

–Meeker St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Simon

Girl on cell: Because I don't function in the world of time so well.

–7th Ave b/w 27th & 28th St

Overheard by: John C

Pilot on PA: JetBlue welcomes you to New York City, where the local time is 1:40… 1:45… Kinda… I think.

–JFK

Law student to another: What time is it in the real world?

–Fordham Law School

Posted on March 12, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Church, Fordham, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, JFK Airport, On Cell, One-liners, Pilots, Questions, Street, Students, Time, Wednesday One-Liners

Avril Lavigne's Back in Town

Drunk girl: Do you skateboard?
Random guy: Yeah.
Drunk girl: Do you own a skateboard?
Random guy: Yeah.
Drunk girl: Do you wanna have sex on your skateboard?

–4th & Ave C

Overheard by: Shani

Posted on March 11, 2022
Default, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex, Sports, Union Square and East Village

She's My Lover and My Gym Partner

Guy #1: Why do you have Stacey's number under “dude-bro”?
Guy #2: Uhm…because she looks like a dude, bro.

–14th St

Overheard by: That's unfortunate

Posted on March 8, 2022
Gender issues, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, Physical appearance, Questions, Street

You Don't Know Much About Sex Work, Do You?

Man: So he was like, a male prostitute?
Woman: Yeah.
Man: He must have been a pretty good lookin' guy!

–40th St & 7th Ave

Posted on February 28, 2022
Beauty, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Prostitution, Questions, Women

Don’t They Know They Can’t Jump?

Teen kid #1: Yo white people have too much free time to do stupid shit.
Teen kid #2: Yeah, I know: like jump off 30-story buildings, like those two kids.
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I once saw this white guy who tried to jump over a car and got split in two, like the car was coming at him, and he tried to jump, but it hit him and split him in two pieces right down the middle.
Teen kid #2: For real, you saw that happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah.
Teen kid #2: Like in person, you saw it happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I saw it happen in person on TV last night.

–5 Train

Overheard by: b

Posted on February 27, 2022
Accidents, Black People, Boys, Death, Default, Insults, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Teens, TV, Weirdness, Words

Puta.

Hispanic mother: Do you want to take the classes in English or Spanish, sweetie?
Little girl: English!
Mother, disappointed: Oh. Well, I want you to take them in Spanish.

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: Fresca P.

Posted on February 19, 2022
Kids, Languages, Latinos, Moms, Parents, Questions, The Met, Wishes & desires

Let’s Try Feeding Her and See What Happens

Girlfriend: So, do you think Fiona is really crazy?
Boyfriend: No, I just think she is hungry.

–Fiona Apple concert, Central Park

Overheard by: Nicole B.

Posted on February 19, 2022
About Celebrities, Boyfriends, Central Park, Couples, Crazy, Default, Diet/Weight, Food, Girlfriends, Music, Questions

And There Was No Trace Of Columbus at That Circle

Dude #1: So where's the union?
Dude #2: Union?
Dude #1: This is Union Square, right?

–Union Square

Overheard by: P. Mills

Posted on February 17, 2022
Guys, Names, NYC Geography, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Just Like Les Mis!

40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high!

–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel

Posted on February 15, 2022
Drinking & Drunk People, Druggies, Drugs, Elevators, Film, Food, Hotels, Preppies, Questions, Strangers, Tourists

Wednesday's Great With One-Liners

Eight-year-old girl, singing: Fat lips, big lips, get your pregnant lips here!

–6 Train

Out-of-breath man on steps: Okay, man, breathe. Breathe like you're having your first child!

–W4 Subway

Overheard by: Keep Pushing On!

Pregnant woman on cell: So, yeah, I'm about 5 centimeters dilated, so I'm going to get a Tasti D-Lite and then go to the hospital.

–Rockefeller Center

Hot skinny, Asian girl to hot, skinny, blonde friends: So, am I going to get pregnant this month or what?

–57th & Park

Overheard by: would have liked to help her

Girl on phone: Okay, so I got the pregnancy test and the vodka. We'll see which one wins.

–6 Train

Posted on February 14, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinks, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Skinny People, Weirdness

Questions