Coloring kindergartner #1: Some animals have poison in them.
Coloring kindergartner #2, looking worried: Like kittens?
–Community Center Office
Coloring kindergartner #1: Some animals have poison in them.
Coloring kindergartner #2, looking worried: Like kittens?
–Community Center Office
Teenage boy: I still don't get it, what's green and goes in the tank?
Teenage girl: The turtle.
Teenage boy: The turtle's turquoise…
Teenage girl: Its head is green!
Teenage boy: You do realize we're arguing over a Blue's Clues episode.
–Grand Central Station
DMV employee: You didn’t write down “Assault with a deadly weapon” on your form.
Woman: Oh shit, I forgot that?
–College Point DMV, Queens
Overheard by: Noelle
(two gay men are adjusting a backpack)
Gay guy #1: Oww, are you sure you know what you're doing?
Gay guy #2: Don't question me! I know how to use Velcro.
–51st Street Station
Hipster chick with "valley girl" accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys' confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually said, like, "Sometimes, I rub my dick on my cat's fur, and it feels good."
–Washington Square Park
10-year-old girl to another: I bet his idea of a hot girl is the crazy cat lady across the street.
–34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Samantha
Woman to another: I have a friend in Belgium now–we both have cats!
–One World Financial Center
Overheard by: macgeekgrl
Brunette on phone: Do you want to play with your cat or do you want to play with me?
–60th St b/w Park & Madison
Overheard by: Adam B.
20-something on cell: And when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized I was spooning his cat.
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: J Cox
Boy #1: What are you gonna be?
Boy #2: Soul of the devil.
Boy #1: What were you last year?
Boy #2, annoyed: Soul of the devil.
Boy #1: And the year before that?
Boy #2: Soul of the devil! I always go as soul of the devil.
Boy #1: What's soul of the devil?
Boy #2: This character I made up. He's like a lawyer for the devil. I have a cane.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
–Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?
–Times Square
Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: "If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant."? Seriously!
–Broadway & 103rd St
Overheard by: Amy
Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.
–Outside Trader Joe's, 14th St
Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control.
–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys
Girl to another: I just don't see why we can't make our own condoms.
–14th St & 4th Ave
Worried girl: I don't know what to do. I just met her, but she texts me non stop. Once I got off the plane, I had a text from her saying: “how's New York?” I didn't respond. It's weird.
Guy: Does she think you're a dyke?
Worried girl: I don't know. I told her my boyfriend and I broke up. I don't know why she'd think that.
Other girl: You should've responded to her text saying something like: “New York is great, I'm just sucking on some guy's dick right now.”
–Meatpacking District
Lady gentrifier: Like Joey Buttafuoco?
Guy gentrifier: Yes, like Joey Buttafuoco.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jordamn!
Male Columbia student: So did she give you the recommendation, or what?
Female Columbia student: Yeah, I wasn’t sure that she liked me that much… But then apparently she told them I walk on water in six-inch heels!
–1 Train
