Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

Posted on July 22, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Families, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insects, Insults, Kids, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Tattoos, The Village, Times Square, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers, Wishes & desires

Junk Food, If You Follow Me

Boy #1: What's up with you two, anyway?
Boy #2: I mean I should just break up with her, because at this point I'm just using her for food.

–NYU Library

Posted on July 19, 2018
Boys, Breaking Up, Food, Library, NYU, Questions, Relationships

They Should Start Selling Souvenir Bandanas

Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!

–1st & York

Overheard by: Not quite as excited

Posted on July 18, 2018
Compliments, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Questions, The Village, Tourists

…Since You Pooped in It

Little boy: Mom, is this a potty?
Mom: No it's the subway exit.
Little boy: It smells like a potty.

–F Train

Posted on July 18, 2018
Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Poop, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences

What You Get for Talking to Strangers

Cokehead: Hey buddy, you got a cigarette?
Brit tourist: Yeah, man. Here.
Cokehead: Hey, smell my face.
Brit tourist: Why?
Cokehead: Just smell it, go on! (sticks chin out and pushes face to Brit’s nose)
Brit tourist: No way man, why?
Coke head: Please.
(Brit tourist smells his face)
Brit tourist: What is that?
Cokehead: That’s the smell of a thousand-dollar hooker’s pussy.

–42nd & 3rd

Posted on July 18, 2018
Brits, Cocaine Diet, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Prostitution, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Smokers & Smoking, Tourists, Vagina, Weirdness

One-Liners Are All Wednesday Can Afford

11-year-old girl: Yo mamma's broke cuz she spend all her money on rhinestones and cigarttes!

–Riverside Branch Library

Overheard by: always listening

Polite lady: Go straight down that way and cut through the projects–don't worry, they're mixed income–and you'll see it when you come out on A.

–1st Ave & 5th St.

Overheard by: Mrqs

Old lady waiting for the bathroom: How long do people stay in toilets? Jesus! It's a public toilet! There are all these people from the streets that come in, and they always pee on the floor. Well, that's what happens when you're poor.

–NY Public Library

Overheard by: Avery

Homegirl to friend: So she was like "oh, my name's Diamond. And this is my sister, her name's Ruby. Our daddy named us after stuff he can't afford." I was like, shit, if that was the case, my daddy woulda call us "lights" and "gas."

–Prospect Park

Nerdish teen: What the hell was a warlock doing in a dungeon when he had no money?

–C Train

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on July 17, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Directions, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Kids, Library, Money & Class, Names, Nerds, Old People, On the Subway, Parks, Pee, Questions, Smoking, Teens, The Village, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Clone-Boy Is Filled With Jealous Rage

Guy hitting on girl: So where are you from?
Disinterested girl: New York.
Guy hitting on girl: No, where are you originally from?
Disinterested girl: My parents.

–East Village Bar

Posted on July 16, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Girls, Guys, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Readers: Answer His Overheard Question

Hoodie: Who’s that guy who takes all the pictures of the little girls?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Keith Scott

Posted on July 13, 2018
Black People, Guys, Kink, Questions, Visual Art, Williamsburg

If We're Not, We're Going to Be After This.

Girl #1: What's your name?
Girl #2: Dana.
Girl #1: Okay. Wait, are we friends?
Girl #2: Yeah! On Facebook!

–1 Train

Posted on July 13, 2018
Facebook, Friendship, Girls, Names, On the Subway, Questions

The Day Mombolu Changed Professions

Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!

–1 Train

Posted on July 12, 2018
Death, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, On the Subway, Passengers, Physical appearance, Questions, Strangers, Travel, Weed, Women

Questions