Race

Frases De Miercoles

Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!

–Jackson Heights

Overheard by: Jobee

Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!

–Mercer & Broome

Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.

–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen

Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.

–105 St & Lexington

Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…

–CVS

Overheard by: Karen

I Could Build a Casino, Then Rob It

Thug: So, if I’m half black and half American Indian, that makes me Puerto Rico.
Thugette: I told you that you was Puerto Rican.

–149th & 3rd, Bronx

Headline by: Mariya

Runners-Up:

· “Actually, it makes you unemployed” – Mr. Bone

· “Bitch, don’t be callin’ me no adjectival form!” – was “rico”/”rican” the first thing you noticed too?

· “Dora the Explorer: South Bronx Edition” – Scott

· “Runs With Hookers didn’t excel in Ethnic Studies” – bri b

· “The new theory of relativity” – sara swank


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

And the Ancient Greeks Owned Slaves!

Boy giving presentation: Guys, shut up! Everybody has to be quiet during my presentation.
Black boy: Man, your people kept my people down for hundreds of years. I ain't being quiet for your presentation!
Boy giving presentation: I'm not white, dude. I'm fucking Greek.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Color Me Beautiful Changed His Whole Worldview

Woman #1: What’s he wear now?
Woman #2: He’s completely switched. Now he likes to wear button-down shirts with cufflinks.
Woman #1: That probably looks much better. His face is way too brown to be goth.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Pete

I’d Guess Not Unlike Star Jones

Woman #1: …she’s also a lesbian.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yeah. She’s a black Jewish lesbian mother.
Woman #2: …What do the kids look like?

–Central Park reservoir track

Kind of Like “Puerterrific!”

Girl: He’s so hotly Jewy. He gives me hot Jew-boy fever.
Guy: I like it when an entire race of people can be summed up in one word.
Girl: It’s a compliment.

–Donut House, Court Street

The Ignorance of Some Wednesday One-liners

Preppy guy on cell: Where are you?…Malcolm X Boulevard & what?…Jesus. Find someone who looks nice and ask how to get to the 6 train…no, not a white person a nice person…well, a nice white person would be ideal…okay, call me back.

–86th & Lex

I’ve Already Eaten Too Many People Today, Sweetie

Six-year-old black girl: Want a cookie?
White woman: No, thanks.
Six-year-old black girl: But they taste like black people and white people! See the chocolate? That’s the black people. See the white cookie? That’s the white people. Yum!

–Times Square

Overheard in Wednesday One-Liner

20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!

–M-15 Bus

Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.

–28th & 29th

Overheard by: A black person from Chicago

20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Annie B

Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?

–Rite-Aid

Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: molls

CNN Needs More Scratching and Weave-Pulling

Black girl #1, after watching Eliot Spitzer’s apology: Did you see the wife? She was just standin’ there!
Black girl #2: That’s cause she’s not black. If that was me, I’da took off my ring and throwed it at his head.
Black girl #1: Mmmhmm. If she was black, she’d a keeped it real.

–Edward R. Murrow High School

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