Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
Instructor: Those people outside are crazy, wearing big ol' leather boots in this kind of heat!
Student: Maybe they're from Texas?
Instructor: Nah, they looked pretty American to me.
–Beauty School, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: Bean
Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?
–7th Ave & W 18th
Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?
–4 Train
Overheard by: DCBX
Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!
–Middle school, Coney Island
Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."
–Gramercy
Teenage boy: Hey, didn't we buy the US for, like, seven dollars?
Teenage girl: No, we actually fought something called the Revolutionary War to get the US.
Teenage boy: Are you sure? I swear we bought the US for seven dollars!
–Horace Mann School
Young gay: It's gay upon gay in that establishment, but not one person's dancing!
–Boiler Room, E 4th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: That's because it's the Boiler Room
Mother to five-year-old son looking at Rockettes signage: Well, for one thing, you have to be a girl. And you also have to really long legs.
–Outside Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Bryan
Girl: Woah, there's no one in the dance studio. That's so ironic!
–Beacon School
20-something girl: Well, the way he was dancing, I couldn't not take his wallet!
–1st Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: rachel
Little boy: My stomach hurts!
Teacher: How does it hurt? What does it feel like?
Little boy: It's… Almost like how it feels being pregnant.
–Public School, The Bronx
Platinum blonde chick: I had another nightmare last night.
Friend: About what?
Platinum blonde chick: Dyeing my hair black.
–Elevator, Pratt Institute
Teacher: So, in Gangs of New York, Amsterdam throws the bible into the river. What does this represent?
Student #1: He's rejecting his religion because he wants to get revenge.
Teacher: Right. The bible says…
Student #2: “You shall not get revenge”!
Teacher: I don't think that's actually what it says.
Student #2: Yeah, whatever… It could be the 11th commitment!
–St. Francis Prep, Queens
20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…
–Bedford Ave & Berry St
Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes
Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie
20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Becca
Teacher #1: Any other food rules I should know?
Teacher #2: Don't eat bay leaves.
Teacher #3: “Babies”?
Teachers #1 and #2: Bay leaves.
Teacher #3: Oh. I thought you said “don't eat babies.”
Teacher #1: Have you read The Road?
–Middle School
