Do I Hear the Pitter Patter Of Tiny Wednesday One-Liners?

Sassy lady on cell: I tell you, he got the wrong bitch pregnant!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stunned!

Girl: Ugh, pregnancy would be like, so much worse than gonorrhea.

–John Jay Dining Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: jane

AT&T employee: Yeah, when I had my daughter I actually didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital. See, usually, after you have the baby, you have to pass the placenta. The doctor actually reached up inside me and just pulled it out, just like that. He told me I was fine to go home after that, so I did.

–AT&T Store, Union Square

20-something on cell: But I refused to go down on him…I told him I'm not ready to have a baby. (pause) Of course you can get pregnant by swallowing! Hello? Did you not take sex-ed in high school?

–61st St & Lexington Ave

Woman on cell: It's such a small opening, and it gets torn apart when you have a kid!

–42nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Weekender

20-something on cell: But I'm tired of always being pregnant.

–East Village

Overheard by: also tired

Posted on March 29, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, School and studying, Sex, STDs, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-liner to Win Any Argument

Guy on cell: Uh huh, and that’s why you have herpes, dude.

–Outside Gonzalez y Gonzalez

Overheard by: Jaina Wald

Posted on February 26, 2015
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, On Cell, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Count Anal

Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Tom

Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: tomas

Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Jake M

Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.

–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.

Overheard by: CreativeBunny

Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!

–Ave C

Posted on February 15, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Boys, Cashiers, Compare/Contrast, Foreplay, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Latinos, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Sex, STDs, Street, Teens, Upper East Side, Vagina, Virginity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Or Has Our Ironic Disdain Finally Overtaken Our Very Souls?

Hipster guy: Did we sleep in ’till 1 pm today? Or was that yesterday?
Hipster girl: No, that was yesterday. We slept in ’till ten today.
Hipster guy: What’s wrong with us? Do we have aids?

–Williamsburg

Posted on January 13, 2015
Default, Fears, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Psychology, Questions, STDs, Threats, Williamsburg

Wednesday One-Liners Can Still Lead a Normal Life

Pissed off gay guy on phone: What should you have said? Oh, I don’t know, maybe "Hi, I’m Michael, I have syphilis!"

–13th & Broadway

Guy: That’d be a great gig, but I don’t know if you want to be the face of venereal disease.

–Cafe Esperanto

Woman coming off train: Get away from me! You got AIDS on yo’ dick!

–R Train

Overheard by: going to the clinic

Chick: As long as it’s not AIDS it’s okay. I’m vaccinated against everything except AIDS.

–Columbia University

20-something male talking to friend: You know the way I see it: AIDS will kill you, herpes is just an inconvenience…

–34th between 2nd and 3rd

Overheard by: LadyEDdy

Columbia student, on her public health exam: I just didn’t know where to put the gonorrhea! It had to go somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where!

–School of Public Heatlh, Columbia University

Loud guy: So he gave her a venereal disease. That’s not a reason to marry her!

–Blue Hill Restaurant

Posted on January 7, 2015
Advice, AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Education, Friends, Girls, Guys, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, On Cell, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, Students, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Women

I Can See the T-shirt Now: ‘Fuck Me. I’m Worth a UTI’

Underage Jersey girl #1: So he gave me another fucking urinary tract infection.
Underage Jersey girl #2: That’s so gross.
Underage Jersey girl #3: Why do you keep fucking him?
Underage Jersey girl #1: I know I have to go to the doctor, but he’s so good it’s almost worth it!

–Uptown F train

Overheard by: dan f.