Guy #1: Wow, The Hipster Handbook finally made it to the stoop sale.
Guy #2: I think we're witnessing the death of irony.
–Stoop Sale in Brooklyn
Guy #1: Wow, The Hipster Handbook finally made it to the stoop sale.
Guy #2: I think we're witnessing the death of irony.
–Stoop Sale in Brooklyn
Skinny girl in dress: Okay, what do you guys think?
Friend #1: Oh my god, it looks so good on you.
Friend #2: I love it!
Skinny girl: Really? I don’t know…
Friend #1: Seriously — you should get it. It looks awesome on you.
Friend #2: If I were you, I’d totally get it.
Skinny girl: Okay… Thanks! I think I will. [Retreats into fitting room.]Friend #1: God, she is so disgustingly skinny, it sickens me.
Friend #2: I could throw up right now.
–H&M fitting room, Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: lc
20-ish chick: That girl beasted your seat.
College guy: Which girl?
20-ish chick: Some girl — when you got up she made a beeline for your seat.
College guy: Was she hot?
20-ish chick: What?
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Pl
Overheard by: she was hot
Man on cell, coming out of The Dark Knight: I'm sorry that I couldn't pick up your call, I was in a very important meeting with a client.
–Lowes Movie Theater, 68th & Broadway
Guy on cell walking out of subway entrance: I'm getting on the subway now.
–Park Place & Church Street
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Female suit on cell: Well, I can't talk long, I'm about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: pop pop
Overweight woman to daughter in pink tutu: You made me come here! Don't lie! Don't lie! Don't lie!
–Ikea, Redhook
Overheard by: Emily B.
Annoying anchor: I'm writing a newscast. I don't have time to check facts.
–CBS News Headquarters, 57th St
Overheard by: The Shadow News Bunny
Married lady: Yeah, and some days I sub at a magnet school in Bed-Stuy. It’s pretty wild. I take the J train.
Single lady: Oh, wow, the J train? I never talk to anyone who takes that. J, M, and Z, right? I mean, it’s practically like a foreign country.
Married lady: I’ve been on the J and the M.
–Savoia, Smith St, Brooklyn
Cute little four-year-old girl: Daddy, who was The Iceman?
Father, without hesitation: He was a serial killer.
Cute little four-year-old girl: Oh.
–Barnes & Noble
Thug: I love you because when I'm with you I feel like I'm Barack Obama and you're Hillary Clinton.
–N Train
All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?
–Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!
–Uptown 6 Train
Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, "Oh no, you didn't put that up." 'cause he don't know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon…he can't even vote.
–East Village Urban Outfitters
Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kip
Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.
–70th & Columbus
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
Girl #1, sniffing perfumes: I like the second one better.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s more real, and it won’t make you feel like you’re seducing him into thinking you’re a cookie.
–Lingerie store, 66th & Broadway
Dad: Hey, you hear that? That’s someone on the giant piano. Let’s go up and see it.
Seven-year-old girl: Yes, someone clearly uneducated is on the piano.
–FAO Schwarz
Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: Hungry Bystander
Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.
–American Eagle, SoHo
Overheard by: Holly
Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.
–Downtown 4 Train
50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.
–Boat Basin Cafe
Overheard by: Megan W.
Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
