Spanish chick #1: Some people are so stupid.
Spanish chick #2: You know what I’m saying?
Spanish chick #3: I’m studying psychology with a friend of mine and he said that this kid he knows got caught stealing but–get this, right?–the kid said he is not a thief he is just a kleptomaniac.
–Clothing store, 106th & 3rd
Overheard by: pimsluer
Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.
–59th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: aenigma
NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.
–Forsyth St & E Houston St
Overheard by: Dave-o
Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.
–Ale House, MacDougal St
Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jana
Middle Eastern man to register girl at sex shop: You have most beautiful eyes in Manhattan.
Register girl: Um, thanks.
Middle Eastern man: You look like European girl.
Register girl: I get that a lot.
Middle Eastern man: Let's go out for drink tonight.
Register girl: No.
Middle Eastern man: Okay, thank you!
–Sex Shop, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Nanda
Older brunette woman: I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde, and maybe I'll even dye the hedges!
Older red-haired woman: Is that safe?
Older brunette woman: Hm. Let's google it!
–CVS Pharmacy
Preppy girl #1: Where's that Obama book?
Preppy girl #2: The Audacity of Hope?
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, that one.
Preppy girl #2: Why do you want that? It's not like you're gonna read it.
Preppy girl #1: I know, but I feel like if I did, I'd be a lot smarter, you know?
–Strands Book Store, Union Square
Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.
–N Train
Overheard by: annearchist
Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?
–Hunter College
Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?
–JCPenny
Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Samantha
Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Nicole
Girl #1: Why didn’t you want your picture with the M&M?
Girl #2: I don’t know.
Girl #1: I would have gotten my picture with him and promptly placed my hand on his ass.
Girl #2: Do M&Ms have asses?
–M&M Store
Sassy lady on cell: I tell you, he got the wrong bitch pregnant!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stunned!
Girl: Ugh, pregnancy would be like, so much worse than gonorrhea.
–John Jay Dining Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: jane
AT&T employee: Yeah, when I had my daughter I actually didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital. See, usually, after you have the baby, you have to pass the placenta. The doctor actually reached up inside me and just pulled it out, just like that. He told me I was fine to go home after that, so I did.
–AT&T Store, Union Square
20-something on cell: But I refused to go down on him…I told him I'm not ready to have a baby. (pause) Of course you can get pregnant by swallowing! Hello? Did you not take sex-ed in high school?
–61st St & Lexington Ave
Woman on cell: It's such a small opening, and it gets torn apart when you have a kid!
–42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Weekender
20-something on cell: But I'm tired of always being pregnant.
–East Village
Overheard by: also tired
Four-year-old girl to nanny: No, princesses don't get tickled. They just dance and get married.
–North Williamsburg
Overheard by: anti-feminist
White girl in hoodie: If I see any of the other girls there want to dance with you they'd better watch out, 'cause it's stab-a-slut Sunday.
–J Train
Short guy with greasy hair: Yo, this girl was like, "wanna dance?" and I was like "okay," so she started dancing mad good. She was grinding up against me with her ass.
–3rd Ave & 71st, Brooklyn
Gay guy on cell in long line during Circuit City closeout: Does it have speakers? Because I like to dance in my room, and I like to feel the music. It's really cold, so I like to dance in my room, you know?
–Circuit City, Union Square
Drunk girl to Guido she knocked heads with while dancing: I'm a drinker, not a dancer!
–Hook & Ladder Pub, Murray Hill
Overheard by: also a drinker
Professor: I'm of the personal opinion that anything counts for art. Take, for example, Nelly's "Hot in Here." We have an admonition of certain weather conditions and an entreaty for certain members of a demographic to react within a certain way, and a compliant voice replies, "I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off." This piece of art demonstrates how much easier life would be if getting a woman naked was that easy. And also, it makes me dance, and as we know, hips don't lie.
–NYU Bobst Library
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy #1: Cinco, por favor.
Guy #2: Cinco? That’s dos, right?
–Sprint store
Overheard by: Thunder
