College boy: I used to work with those people who dress up as cartoon characters.
College girl: Ohhhh! You mean furries?
–Pratt Institute
College boy: I used to work with those people who dress up as cartoon characters.
College girl: Ohhhh! You mean furries?
–Pratt Institute
Schoolgirl #1: The sun rises in the west and sets in the east, right?
Schoolgirl #2: No, no, no! It rises in the east! Girl, you need to learn your temperatures!
–N train
High school girl #1: So what made you think that you were PG?
High school girl #2: Why do you think a woman would think she was pregnant?
High school girl #1: I don’t know, you had sex?
High school girl #2: Well, I missed my period. I am sure I was pregnant. Isn’t that how it works?
–3 train
Overheard by: mickthequick
Friend’s mom: So, Michelle said you just graduated. What is your degree in, Jessica?
Recent grad: I did! My major was Psychology, but I have a minor in Sex. Well, they call it ‘Sexual Studies.’
Friend’s mom: That’s great. Do you plan on teaching with it or…?
Recent grad: I could teach sex-ed, but I want to do something hands-on.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Overheard by: Melissa H.
Chick on cell: Why did you tell dad about that?…Well, he was going to find out sooner or later when he saw me on the website.
–Union Square
Female midget: Yeah, they’re installing the internet in my new apartment and apparently they need a computer.
–Elevator, ABC building, 66th St
Overheard by: Mojosaves
World traveler: Really, you can get anything on the streets of Bangkok. Thai prostitutes, smoothies, passport pictures…It’s like Craigslist.
–20th & 8th
Overheard by: laughing out loud
Catholic school girl on cell: Danny, it’s me. I have some bad news. We’re on a break. Call me back when you get this message….[Hangs up and redials] Maria! What am I going to do about my MySpace?!
–4th Ave
Overheard by: Joe
Blonde on cell: Seriously, I love you, but…Seriously…Seriously, you’re an asshole. You’re a dick! Why didn’t you just tell me the fucking truth!…Well, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I posted those pictures on MySpace, but…Well, be a fucking man about it and tell me the fucking truth then!…Seriously, I love you.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: wild dog boy
Loud guy on cell: So how do I get this done? Do I go on the internet or something?… I want to be able to print my own bounty hunter license immediately.
–11th & 6th
Suit: When I was working for my old company, all we would do is download porn.
–Grand & Varick
Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.
–York & 72nd
Overheard by: fance
Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it's like… it's not that you believe in god, or you don't believe in god, but that you just don't care? I want that book!
–Borders Bookstore, Midtown
Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak's Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.
–Train, Penn Station
Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it's a very *artsy* ending–a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower… Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?
–Stuyvesant High School
Tipsy 30-something nerd: We can't all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It's a literary reference, look it up!
–1st & 7th
Overheard by: Phyllis Dean
Barnard-looking girl #1: You can shower, but then, if you take a shit, you feel totally dirty again. But those, they're like wiping with a washcloth.
Barnard-looking girl #2: I've almost crapped myself a few times on the subway and had to get off at the next stop.
–Grand & Havermeyer, Brooklyn
English teacher: I tell her I can’t come to bed because I’m working. So basically, the definition [of a Penolopean web] is doing something to avoid doing something you don’t want to do.
Kid: Are you saying you’d rather plan our lessons than have sex with your wife?
English teacher: [Leaves the room.]
–LaGuardia High
Overheard by: ToMuchInfo
College girl #1: I found out Mike’s cheating on me. I’m, like, totally devastated.
College girl #2: Ugh. What an asshole. How’d you find out?
College girl #1: Joe told me last week after we hooked up.
College girl #2: Ugh… Mike is such a jerk…
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Merlyn
