Suit on cell, holding a bouquet of yellow roses: Yeah, I just bought my girlfriend some flowers because I fucked her sister.
Student, walking by: Nice job, asshole.
Suit, turning around with a smile: I know! You should try it some time!
–John St
Suit on cell, holding a bouquet of yellow roses: Yeah, I just bought my girlfriend some flowers because I fucked her sister.
Student, walking by: Nice job, asshole.
Suit, turning around with a smile: I know! You should try it some time!
–John St
Guy in suit #1: Well, at least it's Thursday.
(short pause)
Guy in suit #2: It's Wednesday, dude.
Guy in suit #1: (incredibly deep sigh)
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Jess
Crazy Jesus guy: Repent! Judgment is upon us, and we are all sinners!
Suit: Hey, there are some sinners in the next car.
Crazy Jesus guy: We indulge in things, and it's a sin!
Suit: Some really bad sinners.
Crazy Jesus guy: Repent!
Suit: They're just there in the next car.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nora
Suit #1: Hey, did you hear about what happened yesterday?
Suit #2: Yeah, I did, and the amazing part is that female sex offenders exist–that's crazy!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Amused Onlooker
Southern tourist #1: Oh my! Oh. My. God!
Southern tourist #2: Woman, what is it?
Southern tourist #1: It's that Elmo again! I saw him yesterday! At the same place! It's preying on tourists!
Southern tourist #2: Maybe you just need a hug from him!
Suit: It is an “it!” An “it,” you tourist fools! It! It! Iiiiiiiiiiiittttttt!
Southern tourist #2: I toldja we shoulda just stuck with Atlantic City.
–Times Square
Guy: But that way everyone feels a little more suicidal, and that makes it much more interesting.
–Broadway & 9th
85-year-old woman with leathery skin, in neon pink jumpsuit and sunglasses, with cigarette in one hand and cane in the other: I wish that cunt would just fucking kill herself!
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: kyle
Woman to son, as they look at street vendors' wares: Oh, and do you have the number for the suicide hotline?
–Prince & Mulberry
Upper West Side suit to friend: And I was like, "but I've worn that four times, I can't wear that again. I'd just have to kill myself!"
–Broadway & 104th St
Overheard by: Cat
Man, to the tune of "Lean on Me": Sometimes in our lives/we want to jump right out the window…
–DUMBO, Brooklyn
Overheard by: amused
Toddler: Mommy, you make me suicidal!
–Roosevelt Island Bus
Suit on cell: I mean, imagine our mothers in Playboy…
–Borders, Penn Station
Overheard by: I'd Rather Not
50-something suit to others: Ya, we sold ten bags of herb and made $100.
–Wall St & William St
Overheard by: Mike D
Suit on cell: Hey, mom! Ma! 7 cents! You owe me 7 cents!
–5th Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Katie
30-something suit to hot female: I can't reassure you about your body while we're in bed, because that would imply that there's something going on between us.
–W Broadway & Houston
Man in suit: Every day I try to do something out of my comfort zone, like hanging out with you.
–Broadway & Murray St
Female suit: Every time he answers his phone it's with his business greeting. Like, it's your wife, dude, just say hi! God, I hate him.
Gay suit: Yeah, it's like she's the only person who thinks you're important, anyway!
–5th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
Young lisping female suit: It wath juth onthe, and it wath totally mechanical!
Young non-lisping female suit: Well, at least it was something!
–Wall St Platform
Overheard by: Heather
