The Village

Suit on cell: I swear, I’m going to make her the sorriest crippled girl in New York.

–Avenue C

Hipster on iPhone: Hello? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you–I have an iPhone.

–6th & 27th

Hipster girl to out-of-town friend: Sorry about the smell, this area just recently gentrified.

–Orchard Street b/w Broome & Grand

Loud, drunk, British girl to boyfriend: We don’t know each other’s minds -we can’t read each other’s minds! So when you do something I don’t like and I tell you and then later you do something I don’t like and I tell you again… Well that’s two sorries in one day! And "sorry" is just a word, but you’re learning about me! About my mind.

–Broadway & Waverly

Overheard by: rpk

Woman on cell: Oh sorry, I have to go. Remember that woman that got pregnant by a bear? Yeah, I just ran into her.

–Astor Place

Dominican to friend: And just wait until I tell them all he’s Dominican… he’ll really be sorry then!

–5th Ave, near Empire State Building

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Woman #1: Oh my god! I need to lose weight!
Woman #2: You do not need to lose weight. You’re married!

–Bathroom, Otto Pizza, 8th & 5th

Overheard by: Barista

Dim bulb: I’d say the odds are pretty good. At least fifty-fifty.
Dimmer bulb: No, they’re not that good. More like forty-forty.

–6th Ave

Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo

Ghetto guy herding large group of rowdy kids off train: Scuse me, scuse me, scuse me! Lotta kids, they all ain't mine!

–C Train

Overheard by: Julie S.

Professional woman on cell: I mean, she said she'd finally come to the place where she realizes her kids are shit, and she can just wash her hands off the whole situation and be done with it!

–40th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rachel

Receptionist to UPS guy: Shit, I got five kids, and they're all bad.

–6th Ave & 47th

Overheard by: thanks mom

Angry woman, yelling on phone: Nigga, don't give me that "parenting role" shit!

–Flatbush Ave & Park Place, Brooklyn

Concerned mother: He's not even potty-trained, all he does is eat the toilet paper.

–University Pl & 8th St

Overheard by: Justin

Woman: Whatever happened to Kirsten*?
Gay man: Oh, she’s a Republican…

–8th & Mercer

Overheard by: Sophia Emily

Teen boy #1: Yo, pussy!
Teen boy #2: You just called me a pussy?
Teen boy #1: You are what you eat!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Jenya

Woman on phone: I don’t care if she did have a gun, they can’t just stick a 16-year-old in with the general population!

–University Pl

Girl #1: You know how I am.
Girl #2: Yeah, I know how you are.
Girl #1: How am I?
Girl #2: I don't know!

–Waverly Place & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Cory W

Girlfriend: I am going to kill myself and blame it on you.
Boyfriend: Great… I’ll sign your suicide note!

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: sneakey black guy

Creepy drunk guy: I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'm going to come back and hit on you some more.
Girl to friend: I fucking hope not, I think that guy has an open wound on his arm.

–W 12th