Boyfriend: So I think my mother is sleeping with the guy who lives around the corner from me.
Girlfriend: Your mom is so good at stuff like that.
–6th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Matthew Coleman
Boyfriend: So I think my mother is sleeping with the guy who lives around the corner from me.
Girlfriend: Your mom is so good at stuff like that.
–6th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Matthew Coleman
Pretty girl: So are the fries here good?
Foreign cashier: Yes, de fries here–they are like your eyes. They are very beautiful. You will not forget de taste.
Pretty girl: Oh, thank you…
Foreign cashier: Yes, you eat de fries, I eat your eyes. Yes!
–Burger Joint, The Village
Man collecting money: One penny, one penny! No one should be hungry!
Little child: You're wrong! Stop saying that!
–Waverly & University Place
Overheard by: Obviously a Republican
Middle-aged woman (excitedly): So I met a great 75-year old man!
Middle-aged man (also excitedly): Are you going to marry him?
–W 13th St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: NYU girl
Guy #1: You're getting a cape?
Guy #2: Yeah, I figure we can prop the hood up and make it like the reservoir.
Guy #1: You're either going to look like a giant penis in a condom or a Ku Klux Klan member in saran wrap.
–Costume Store, 11th & Broadway
Overheard by: brian
Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?
–Christopher St Pier
Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Pza
20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?
–Denny's
Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Alison
Ditz #1: Ugh, Union Square could not be further away right now.
Ditz #2: I know.
–12th St & University
Overheard by: Jesse D
Overweight effeminate guy: Listen, if I'm gonna have sex with a fat chick, no one is gonna know about it.
Fag hag: Well, what's the point if no one will ever know?
–W Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Dopeman
Headline by: winona
Runners-Up:
· “For the Tax Deduction.” – KJM
· “I Prefer My Charitable Donations to Be Anonymous” – Give’til it hurts
· “It Builds Character?” – Underweight effeminate guy
· “See If the Judge Will Take It As Your Community Service” – Kenneth
· “Shake Your Harpoon and Say, “Thar, She Blew Me”” – Professor Coldheart
· “Why Billy Wasn’t Able To Stay in the Closet for Very Long” – J
Adorable little boy: Mommy, can I have a Hershey bar?
Mom: Yes.
Adorable little boy: I want this big one.
Mom: You can't have a candy bar that big…you might catch the obesity virus.
–Broadway & 2nd
Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.
–Metro-North Train
Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!
–Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Mike
20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!
–Times Square
Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor
