Wednesday One-Liners for the Royal Family

Guy: Yeah, but it's not that hard to keep your mother from having sex with you.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: V

Man, seriously: If I could marry my daughter I would.

–Duke's Deli, SoHo

Random moviegoer: I have to admit the incest was tastefully done.

–Outside IFC Center

Overheard by: when is it ever?

Suit on cell: I'm in love with my cousin.

–Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Sean C.

Very gay man to another: I don't know, I'm just not attracted to him at all! Maybe because he's my brother…

–Greenwich Ave & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Lily Caulfield

Man shouting to friend: Incest free for a whole three weeks! Yeah!

–1 Train

Posted on October 15, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Crime and Punishment, Delis, Family Ties, Guys, Incest, Love, Marriage, Men, Movie Theaters, On Cell, On the Subway, Parents, Queer guys, Soho, Suits, The Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

Who Majors in Nineteenth Century Insecticides, Anyway?

NYU student #1: Who is Paris Green, anyway?
NYU student #2: Didn't he manage the Yankees for a little while?
NYU student #3: That was Dallas Green.
NYU student #1: Are they related?
NYU student #3: They used to use Paris Green to kill rats.
NYU student #2: He was an exterminator?
NYU student #1: Either way, I fucked up the test.

–Starbucks, Greenwich Village

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on October 12, 2008
Animals & Nature, Default, Names, Questions, Starbucks, Students, Stupidity, The Village

LL– He's Been Doing Sit-Ups

Girl #1: What is Dr. Phil's first name, anyway?
Girl #2: Uhhh…

–14th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jessie

Posted on October 11, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Girls, Names, Questions, The Village, TV

And I Don't Think It Could Get Any Shittier

Homeless dude #1: I need something to read when I go to the bathroom.
Homeless dude #2: I got “Can you afford to retire?”

–Broadway & W 4th

Overheard by: Danielle

Posted on October 10, 2008
Books & Writing, Default, Guys, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Offers and requests, Poop, Questions, The Village, Wishes & desires

…Unless You Have Her Number on Hand.

Drunk balding fratboy in elevator: Dude who's that chick in the picture on your phone?
Tall friend: Oh, it's my niece.
Drunk balding fratboy in elevator: Buzzkill.

–Bowlmor Night Club

Overheard by: Revere La Noue

Posted on October 10, 2008
Clubs, Default, Drunks, Family Ties, Frat Boys, Friends, Guys, Pictures, Questions, The Village, Words

Maverick Wednesday One-Liners Take on the Washington Establishment

Woman: So my friend was going to vote for Obama, but now, since her boyfriend is from, like, Alaska, she's going to vote for McCain instead.

–Store, 2nd Ave

Woman to friend: Joe says he weighs 145 but he's a Republican. You can't trust anything he says.

–Pinetree Lodge, 35th & 1st

Hobo on street corner: Vote for McCain. Get nuclear rockets shot up your ass and eat moose burgers all day!

–W 3rd & MacDougal St

Overheard by: Matt

60-something woman dressed like teenybopper, talking about Sarah Palin on cell: She proves you can be pretty and smart. She's more than a bulldog in a pantsuit; she's like Alaska Barbie!

–Penn Station

Yuppie dad to whiny daughter: Barack Obama doesn't like it when his daughters whine.

–Caroll Gardens

Middle-aged, white man on cell: Do not call me at this number again. Never call me at this number again. Listen, if you call me at this number again I will, in fact, vote for John McCain.

–Tea Lounge, Cobble Hill

Posted on October 8, 2008
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Diet/Weight, Guys, Hobos, Lies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, Penn Station, Politics, Pop Culture, President, Relationships, Store, Stupidity, The Village, Threats, U.S. Geography, War, White People, Women, Yuppies

The Republicans' New Anti-Immigration Video Is a Little Over the Top

Hipster girl: What's that?
Salvadorian guy: My benefits card, like food stamps. You could get one!
Hipster girl: Really?
Salvadorian guy: You should! We could barbecue non-stop! For free!

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: anyabelisle

Posted on October 6, 2008
Advice, Default, Food, Free stuff!, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Latinos, Questions, Starbucks, The Village

Says She Loves to Fuck, but Hates to Walk

Boyfriend: So I think my mother is sleeping with the guy who lives around the corner from me.
Girlfriend: Your mom is so good at stuff like that.

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Matthew Coleman

Posted on October 5, 2008
Boyfriends, Compliments, Default, Girlfriends, Parents, Sexuality, The Village

The Wrong Way to Acquire Insight

Pretty girl: So are the fries here good?
Foreign cashier: Yes, de fries here–they are like your eyes. They are very beautiful. You will not forget de taste.
Pretty girl: Oh, thank you…
Foreign cashier: Yes, you eat de fries, I eat your eyes. Yes!

–Burger Joint, The Village

Posted on October 2, 2008
Cashiers, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Customers, Default, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village

My Mom Says Hunger Makes You Pretty

Man collecting money: One penny, one penny! No one should be hungry!
Little child: You're wrong! Stop saying that!

–Waverly & University Place

Overheard by: Obviously a Republican

Posted on September 28, 2008
Default, Food, Homeless, Kids, Men, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Panhandling, The Village