Right at the Bottom of the Barrel

Tourist #1 (looking at a massive sales bin): Do you want to go? There's nothing good here.
Tourist #2: Yeah, let's go.
Tourist #1: Oh! Wait! Here's Dancing with the Stars!

–Virgin Megastore, Times Square

Posted on August 26, 2008
Offers and requests, Questions, Store, Times Square, Tourists, TV

Too Easy– That Was Like Sandblasting a Soup Cracker

Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can't tie their own shoes.

–50th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on August 18, 2008
Advice, Default, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queer guys, Retardation, Shoes, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking, Tourists

Undercover Cops Aren't As Savvy As They Used to Be

Guy selling purses out of a suitcase: Coach, Gucci, Prada! Purses for cheap!
Tourist lady: Are these real?
Crowd of shoppers: (no response)
Tourist lady (louder): Are these real?
Crowd of shoppers: (no response)
Tourist lady: Did you steal these?

–Canal St.

Posted on August 16, 2008
Default, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Soho, Thievery, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers

The AAA Guide Says “Just Ask a Morlock”

Teen girl tourist #1: I can't believe we're, like, under New York City right now!
Teen girl tourist #2: How will we know where we're going?!

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on August 14, 2008
Default, Fears, Girls, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Stupidity, Teens, Tourism, Tourists

Because a Simple “Fuck Off” Just Isn't Very Classy

(very pretty girl waiting for the cross light to change)
Crazy old man: Yum, you sure are pretty.
(no response)
Crazy old man (excited now): Yummy! I like them pretty ones.
(pretty girl hisses at him and walks away)
Tourist dad to little girl: See, darling? That's how you handle those situations.

–Broadway & Houston

Posted on August 12, 2008
Beauty, Compliments, Crazies, Crazy, Creepsters, Dads, Default, Kids, Old People, Parents, Pedophilia, The Village, Tourists

Oh Look, There's the Three-Headed Dog!

Tourist husband, as train stops: 14th Street.
Tourist wife, smiling delightedly: Exactly like it says on the map!

–A Train

Overheard by: Theresa

Posted on August 10, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Couples, Default, Directions, On the Subway, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

There's Really Only One Jersey Story, Anyway

Tourist teen #1: You know they made Jersey Boys into a movie?
Tourist teen #2: Really?
Tourist teen #1: Yeah, it was called Jersey Girl with Ben Affleck.

–Eugene O'Neill Theatre

Posted on August 5, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance, Tourists

Is Our Tourists Learning?

Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.

–E Train

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on July 31, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Compare/Contrast, Default, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists, Women

Can We Take a Picture with the Pissed-Off Guy, Honey?

(spectators gather behind a wall of paparazzi taking pictures)
Tourist woman: Who is that?
Guy #1: David Wright and Willie Randolph.
Tourist woman: Who are they?
Guy #1: Baseball players.
Tourist woman: Ooooh. Which team?
Guy #1: The Mets.
Tourist woman: Oh. Honey! It’s just the Mets, let’s go.
Guy #2 (with Mets hat): Hey! Fuck you!

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: am

Posted on July 27, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Questions, Sports, Tourism, Tourists, Women

There’s Also That “Olive Garden” I’ve Been Hearing So Much About

Tourist woman #1: Well, where should we go to eat instead?
Tourist woman #2: I hear that Ray’s Pizza is suppose to be excellent!

–W 54th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Levram

Posted on July 24, 2008
Default, Food, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Women