Wednesday Drunk-Liners

Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie!

–W 88th St

Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick!

–Metro-North Train

Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine!

–East Village

Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor

Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand!

–Poker Game, Astoria

Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY

Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit!

–L Train

Posted on September 9, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Astoria, Bitch-slap, Cleanliness, Couples, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Insults, Names, Nudity, On the Subway, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Just When You Were Starting to Miss Your 20's…

Girl #1: I love cheese steaks.
Girl #2: Me too, they are my favorite drunk food.
Girl #1: They are so bad for you.
Girl #2: It doesn't matter, I'll just throw it up anyways.
(both start laughing)

–PATH

Posted on September 3, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Girls, Laughter, Trains Not Subway, Vomit, Weirdness

… On Your Shoe

Stranger: Hi, cutie! What a handsome little boy you are!
Toddler boy exiting stall with mom: I got a hair cut, and I just made a big poop!
Stranger: Um, okay.

–Ladies’ room, LIRR

Overheard by: Cathleen B

Posted on August 30, 2014
Hair, Kids, Poop, Strangers, Trains Not Subway

Wednesday One-liners Watch the Calendar

Conductor: This is 33rd Street, please remember to take all personal belongings off with you, and let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas!

–PATH train

Overheard by: elise n

Posted on August 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Holidays, People, Places, Time, Topics, Trains Not Subway

Have You Been Talking to Mommy's Divorce Lawyer Again?

Five-year-old boy, smiling: Daddy, guess what.
Father: What?
Five-year-old boy: I do not love you. (giggles uncontrollably)

–Penn Station, NJ Transit

Overheard by: Jenn

Posted on August 22, 2014
Dads, Kids, Love, Parents, Penn Station, Should've Used a Condom, Trains Not Subway

Guess That Explains the Cloven Hoofs

White girl to boyfriend: I want to go to my father's country one day…I want to go where my father was born…Hades.
Boyfriend: Where?
White girl: Hades, I wanna go to Hades where my father was born…you know, that little island in the Dominican Republic?

–PATH

Posted on August 22, 2014
Boyfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Parents, Questions, Religion, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires

Now I Have Twenty Cats, but Nothing's Changed

Lonely cat lady: Remember a few years back when I had ten cats? I knitted ten of these adorable little stockings for them, and I filled each one with catnip. Well, I never did that again!
Passenger: Why? Did they all freak out over the catnip?
Lonely cat lady: No, they didn't even appreciate all the work that went into it. They just ignored them.

–Midtown NJ Tranist

Posted on August 21, 2014
Clothing, Ew, Jersey, Gay Man's Best Friend, Passengers, Questions, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Women

Self-Loathing Tourists Are the Worst Kind

Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio.

–PATH train

Posted on August 17, 2014
Assholes, Midwesterners, On the Subway, Trains Not Subway, U.S. Geography

And to Have One’s Reese’s Eaten

Girl #1: So after all that, can’ t you understand why I’m pretty much a full-fledged lesbian now?
Girl #2: In a way, but I think you could still be into guys. I have a hard time believing you don’t have feelings for Jarrod.
Girl #1: No, I really don’t. That’s done.
Girl #2: I totally support you. I just think, you know, there’s more than one way to eat a Reese’s.
Girl #1: Exactly.

–Metro North

Overheard by: ianbobian

Posted on August 14, 2014
Default, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Lesbians, Questions, Trains Not Subway, Words

K.d. Langsday One-Liners

Chatty woman: There were two lesbians, or transsexuals, or whatever you call it…

–26th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Crazy shouting hobo: Lesbians are rapists! Lesbians are rapists! You stick your tongue in a pussy, you're a rapist! Rapist lesbians! Lesbians are rapists!

–E Train

Woman on cell: Of course I thought she was a lesbian! She walked like a dude!

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Laura

Middle aged woman to male on train, in one breath: Scientists say that in 2012 the sun will line up with the milky way and change the axle on the earth and you know it is hard to be a black lesbian cause most of these women just get tired of men and have sex with a woman but that doesn't mean they are bisexual just because they have sex with men and women and they ain't really lesbians they just think they are cause they have sex with women…

–D Train

Overheard by: thomas

Normal-looking girl to girlfriends: Do you know how many woman hit on me when I was in San Francisco?

–Bedford & 6th

Man on street: Does anybody need a lesbian lover? Because I'll get a sex change…

–79th St & Broadway

Posted on August 10, 2014
Brooklyn, Gays and Lesbians, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Questions, Sexuality, Trains Not Subway, Trannies, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, West Village, Women

Trains Not Subway