Stranger: Hi, cutie! What a handsome little boy you are!
Toddler boy exiting stall with mom: I got a hair cut, and I just made a big poop!
Stranger: Um, okay.
–Ladies’ room, LIRR
Overheard by: Cathleen B
Stranger: Hi, cutie! What a handsome little boy you are!
Toddler boy exiting stall with mom: I got a hair cut, and I just made a big poop!
Stranger: Um, okay.
–Ladies’ room, LIRR
Overheard by: Cathleen B
Conductor: This is 33rd Street, please remember to take all personal belongings off with you, and let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas!
–PATH train
Overheard by: elise n
Five-year-old boy, smiling: Daddy, guess what.
Father: What?
Five-year-old boy: I do not love you. (giggles uncontrollably)
–Penn Station, NJ Transit
Overheard by: Jenn
White girl to boyfriend: I want to go to my father's country one day…I want to go where my father was born…Hades.
Boyfriend: Where?
White girl: Hades, I wanna go to Hades where my father was born…you know, that little island in the Dominican Republic?
–PATH
Lonely cat lady: Remember a few years back when I had ten cats? I knitted ten of these adorable little stockings for them, and I filled each one with catnip. Well, I never did that again!
Passenger: Why? Did they all freak out over the catnip?
Lonely cat lady: No, they didn't even appreciate all the work that went into it. They just ignored them.
–Midtown NJ Tranist
Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio.
–PATH train
Girl #1: So after all that, can’ t you understand why I’m pretty much a full-fledged lesbian now?
Girl #2: In a way, but I think you could still be into guys. I have a hard time believing you don’t have feelings for Jarrod.
Girl #1: No, I really don’t. That’s done.
Girl #2: I totally support you. I just think, you know, there’s more than one way to eat a Reese’s.
Girl #1: Exactly.
–Metro North
Overheard by: ianbobian
Chatty woman: There were two lesbians, or transsexuals, or whatever you call it…
–26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Crazy shouting hobo: Lesbians are rapists! Lesbians are rapists! You stick your tongue in a pussy, you're a rapist! Rapist lesbians! Lesbians are rapists!
–E Train
Woman on cell: Of course I thought she was a lesbian! She walked like a dude!
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Middle aged woman to male on train, in one breath: Scientists say that in 2012 the sun will line up with the milky way and change the axle on the earth and you know it is hard to be a black lesbian cause most of these women just get tired of men and have sex with a woman but that doesn't mean they are bisexual just because they have sex with men and women and they ain't really lesbians they just think they are cause they have sex with women…
–D Train
Overheard by: thomas
Normal-looking girl to girlfriends: Do you know how many woman hit on me when I was in San Francisco?
–Bedford & 6th
Man on street: Does anybody need a lesbian lover? Because I'll get a sex change…
–79th St & Broadway
Party girl: Can you drink vodka if you're allergic to potatoes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to potatoes?
Party girl: No, I just wanna know.
Pretty boy: I don't know.
Party girl: Can you drink wine if you're allergic to grapes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to grapes?
Party girl: No…
–PATH
Overheard by: TR
Train Staffer #1: Did you do that terrorism training yet?
Train Staffer #2: No. I’m trying to avoid it.
Train Staffer #1: Yeah. I already missed the first one.
–PATH Train
