Pedestrian #1: I’m fucking handicapped. I can park anywhere I want to.
Pedestrian #2: If you’re handicapped, how come you’re walking?
Pedestrian #1: It ain’t my legs that’s handicapped.
–3rd between A & B
Overheard by: Abby
Pedestrian #1: I’m fucking handicapped. I can park anywhere I want to.
Pedestrian #2: If you’re handicapped, how come you’re walking?
Pedestrian #1: It ain’t my legs that’s handicapped.
–3rd between A & B
Overheard by: Abby
Intellectual: Man, I was reading the Koran the other day. It’s such bullshit; the Bible is way better.
–7B, East Village
Player: Yo, I ain’t banged a fat bitch in a while.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Big woman: He looks like a bean…he has no ass!
–Kate Spade, Broome St.
Overheard by: wermice
Girl #1: I don’t know how I got pregnant.
Girl #2: Well, don’t you use birth control?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s why I don’t understand. Right after I had sex I squirted in a lot of that birth control foam cream stuff.
Girl #2: After? You’re supposed to put it in before. That’s why it prevents pregnancy.
Girl #1: Oh? I didn’t know that.
Girl #2: You know you oughta get a IUD. There’s nothing to remember or know, they just stick it in there and you can like keep it in there forever!
Girl #1: Who sticks it in?
Girl #2: Forget it. Just go to the doctor like right away like yesterday. Uh, I mean as soon as possible.
–1st & 1st
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Dude: I was assuming this isn’t a date, but do you want me to buy your ticket anyway?
Chick: Oh, well I was assuming this was a date so I didn’t bring any money with me!
Dude: Okay, well I’ll just go ahead and buy this second one then.
–Regal Union Square Cinemas
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Guy: Dude…did I ever tell you about that time I died?
Friend: What?
–Union Square
Older Hispanic gay man to guy in Subway sandwich costume: Uh sandwich, be careful someone doesn't eat you, darling.
Passers-by: (laugh)
Older Hispanic gay man: Whaaat? That's what you do to a saaandwich.
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: eat me
Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that's cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain't gonna beat her.
–Union Square, ASPCA Day
Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.
Girl #1: We totally only hired her because she’s British.
Girl #2: Oh, is she the one who smells like babies?
Girl #1: Yeah…
–East Village
