Jew boy: So wait… When Israelis talk to boring people they're just like, “You're boring. I hate you.”?”
Jew chick (nodding enthusiastically): Yeah!
–87th & Lexington
Overheard by: MacDutchman
Jew boy: So wait… When Israelis talk to boring people they're just like, “You're boring. I hate you.”?”
Jew chick (nodding enthusiastically): Yeah!
–87th & Lexington
Overheard by: MacDutchman
Woman to male teacher: I thought you were a middle aged Latino woman.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alex and Colin
Chubby Latino: I don't want to go there. It'll just be a bunch of angry Dominicans throwing tables.
–Cooper Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunken lady, sitting uninvited at a Hispanic family table: Cinco cuatro cinco… en Chicago. I have a business at 545 Chicago. In Chicago. I am a successful woman. Stay in school, sweetie. Learn your math and arithmetic… Yes, your math, and your arithmetic. And be good to your mommy. You only have one mommy, so be good to her. Alright, ciao, guys. Adios, coco! What? A cab? No, no, I'm fine.
–Pio Pio Restaurant, 91st & 1st
Overheard by: HJWC
Hasidic Jew answering cell: Hola? Hola? Hola!
–30 Rock
Overheard by: Micky
Bespectacled man on cell, walking a dog: And I owe it all to the politically incorrect Frito Bandito.
–Bryant Park
Man: Why do you always have to bring that up?
Woman: Oh, come on, your penis is huge! It's one of the biggest I've ever seen! (gestures with hands)
Man (looking around nervously): Are you crazy? We're in a public place!
Woman: What? No one is listening.
–Lumi Restaurant
Thug on phone: Yo, man, you know that bitch I rent my room from? Those titties are triple F or some shit, man! (pause) How do I know that? Cause I looked through her drawers, that's how! (pause) Cause whenever I talk to that bitch, those things are in my face! I had to find out!
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: redshikari
Dude: I have barometric boobies!
–Jujutsu Class, 13th & 7th
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude to friend: Dude, sometimes you just have to say no to boobs.
–St. Mark's Chipotle
College student: Those tits in that shirt look awful… I wanna see cleavage, not leverage.
–Columbia University
Suit on cell: You should get paid more because of how big your boobs are!
–74th & 3rd
Overheard by: Joanna L.
Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.
–106th & Amsterdam
Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.
–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rahstah
Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!
–69th & Lexington
Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger
Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.
–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn
Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Overheard by: James
Old lady: Excuse me, could you help me move these bags?
Young teen (looking a bit confused and pissed off): Um. Sure.
(the teen moves the bags around the cart)
Old lady: Thank you. Could you help me pull up my pants?
Young teen: No, I cannot help you pull up your pants. I came here for some Advil, not to help you pull up your goddamn pants.
–CVS, 92nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Jayla M
College girl to her boyfriend: Yeah, but you always make sexual advances on my roommates.
–Lincoln Center
Serious student: Yeah, well, I really don't want to talk about my roommate's penis anymore.
–LaGuardia & Washington Square South
Chick to friend: It's not about the toilet paper, his roommate only used baby wipes.
–Spring St & Mott St
Overheard by: Nick Caylor
NYU kid on cell: I'm still hoping to live in housing next year unless my roommates find out that I got arrested.
–Mercer & Waverly
Young suit into cell: You pissed on my toothbrush!? What the fuck? Fine, I'll get you a new pouffe… Fuck you! Pink or purple? Just get me a new toothbrush! You know what kind! Always, right? The blue ones or the yellow ones? Well, did you get your period or no? Okay… Okay… fine… fine… fine! Look, I'll be home around seven, okay? (yelling) I don't care who you're fucking, it's your turn to cook! Right, fine, talk later, okay? (hangs up, to very attractive female companion) She's really just my roommate…
–82nd & Lexington
20-something chick: So one of the side effects of my anti-depressive medication is a complete lack of sexual desire.
20-something dude: Oh well, mine don't do that!
20-something chick: Uh… okay?
20-something dude: … just saying.
20-something chick: They also make it harder for men to ejaculate. Not that I would know.
20-something dude: Yes you would, don't lie to me.
20-something chick, hanging head: …I know.
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Desperate girl #1: I think those guys are checking us out.
Desperate girl #2: No, they are looking for a waitress.
–Restaurant, Upper East Side
Boy on class trip #1: Look! The hall of Asian mammals!
Boy on class trip #2: Since when are there mammals in Asia?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Amanda
