Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.

–Wall St.

Overheard by: krazyhippie

Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!

–10th St & FDR

20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.

–W 19th & 5th Ave

Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"

–Mercer & W 3rd

Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.

–171st St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Low Hat

Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.

–PATH Station

Overheard by: smjcnj

30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

Posted on February 14, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Colors, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drugs, Elevators, Fat People, Friends, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Insults, Internet, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Relationships, Street, The Village, Train Station, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Looked Better in the Previews

Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!

–Lower West Side

Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & University

Overheard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."

–City Cinemas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?

–NYU

Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.

–Columbus Circle

Posted on January 24, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Drugs, Film, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Handicaps, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Movie Theaters, Movies, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Street, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Thugs, TV, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Ever Get the Sense That Every Day Is Like an Episode Of Springer?

Tall, gorgeous girl to much shorter, uglier boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our relationship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I'm your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walking and argue loudly, a small crowd begins to gather)
Tall girl: Do you thing I was cheating? Why would you think that? You're the one that said you're the only one that will ever love me!
(crowd boos boyfriend)
Boyfriend: I am the only man that will ever love you!
Random guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Random guy: No you douchebag, your girlfriend!

–Broadway & Wall St.

Posted on January 18, 2019
Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Guys, Infidelity, Insults, Love, Questions, Relationships, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I'm Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.

Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!

–Broadway

Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.

–Broadway & Spring

20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.

–Q Train

Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!

–Neptune Ave

Overheard by: taylor

Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.

–Centre St

Posted on December 21, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Creepsters, Flyer people, Food, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nostalgia, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Soho, Stab, Strangers, Street, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Giving Racism the Boot?

Italian woman #1: He looks like a sand digger!
Italian woman #2: What’s that, like a bug?
Italian woman #1: No, you know, a sand digger.
Italian woman #2: What’s that?
Italian woman #1: A camel jockey! That’s what people in Bay Ridge call them, sand diggers, because they are always shoveling sand in the desert.

–John & Pearl

Posted on December 19, 2018
Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Don’t Know Why Not

Queer #1: Sex with Nordic guys? That’s like revenge sex for the Holocaust.
Queer #2: The Nordics? They weren’t… Well… They weren’t so bad. Plus, you can’t keep blaming the fact that you’re a huge whore on the Holocaust!

–Wall & William St