Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
Lady: Wow, that really sucks…
Man: Yeah, you never know how useful all your fingers are until you lose one. And you know what’s so crazy? I used to fantasize about cutting one of my fingers off before this happened.
Lady: Are you serious? Which one?
Man: I couldn’t decide…
–2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: bestbelieve
Girl #1: Where should we go, posh?
Girl #2: Posh? When did we go to posh again?
Girl #1: That was the night we left those Irish kids on the park bench.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Daniel
Bespectacled lady, reading list of pointers to middle schoolers before a dance: Don't be a wallflower. Don't leave the dance during the middle of a song.
Sassy lady across the table: Don't get a boner.
–Picholine Restaurant
Girl #1 (referring to the Bodies exhibit): It just weirds me out -I just think of decomposition.
Girl #2: No, that's the sequel to this.
Girl #1: Bodies 2–The Tourists That Didn't Make It Out.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Foster
Weird girl #1, watching tall muscular jock with toy Chihuahua: Oh my god, do you see that adorable little dog over there?
Weird girl #2: Yea, it's so cute! I just wanna pluck its little eyeballs out and squish 'em!
Weird girl #1: Aw, me too.
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Rupert
50-something suit: In many ways I enjoyed his funeral reception more than his wedding reception.
–PATH
Overheard by: Joe H.
Girl on cell: He died. They found his body. I don't know, somewhere in the Bronx. He was strangled or some shit. Yeah, he died from it. Oh shit, that's why I forgot to send you the invitation for the whatchacallit, the funeral.
–Rivington & Attorney
Overheard by: I wasn't invited either
Gay guy to friend: So I told John I would go to his funeral just to spit in his face!
–West Bank Cafe
60-something woman to another: So I'm glad I didn't go to his fucking bitch sister's funeral. But now he's mad.
–Central Park
20-something guy on cell: Just 'cause I did meth with his daughter doesn't mean I'm going to go to his funeral!
–7th Ave Subway Entrance
Large bald man on Bluetooth: He got a fuckin' boo boo, that's all!
–Gramercy
Suit on cell: So, I haven't been electrocuted…yet.
–L Train
Elderly woman: I regret that she broke her arm. I do not regret pushing her down the stairs.
–E Train
Overheard by: Pat
Little boy: I hope the boo-boo goes away soon! My staple won't hold that long!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Say what?
Guy on train to friend: Hey, would you still date a girl if she was in an industrial accident and had to wear a Darth Vader suit forever?
–6 Train
Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator!
–Sheridan Square
Overheard by: Lory
Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em!
–Central Park Zoo
Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Rebecca
Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff!
–The Village
Overheard by: Aaron
Pet shop owner: Don't touch the puppies!
Girl: He touched me!
Pet shop owner: He can't read. The sign is there for you.
–Pet Shop
