Bank teller: Are you two married?
Asian girl and white man (angrily): Yes. Just.
Bank teller: You're so loving.
White man: Our marriage doesn't start until noon each day.
Asian girl: After two cups of coffee.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Bank teller: Are you two married?
Asian girl and white man (angrily): Yes. Just.
Bank teller: You're so loving.
White man: Our marriage doesn't start until noon each day.
Asian girl: After two cups of coffee.
–17th St & 5th Ave
White girl #1: Do you live here?
White girl #2: Yeah.
White girl #1: We were thinking of moving here. How is it?
White girl #2: The super is okay. The building is fine. Good value, I guess.
White girl #1: I know! We were so excited to find a place on the Upper East Side for so cheap!
White girl #2: Uh, this isn't the Upper East Side: this is Harlem.
White girl #1: Oh… I guess that would explain a lot.
–E 129th & Madison
Middle-aged white guy to younger black woman: Just leave them a message that's like "I woke up from my coma, don't worry. Not that you were worried anyway."
–Nederlander Theater
Overheard by: julia
Girl to friend: Everything was fine until I found out about the warts.
–Broadway & Waverly
Man to friends: All I know is that I was leaving town the next day, so I told her to take some Pepto-Bismol or Robitussin or whatever because I was gettin' some that night for sure!
–Bodega, 22nd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Doug Tischler
Teenage black girl, within a group of friends: Them kids with autism, they be havin' mad skills!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: r. faith
Male yuppie: If she comes back with cold sores, I'll know who to go to.
–San Domenico Restaurant, East 26th St
Girl: Rabies is my biggest enemy.
–Bellerose, Queens
Man trying on hat: Hey! Do I look like John Wayne in this hat? Watch out, pilgrim! I'm planting roses!
–Botanical Garden
Girl to friend: I need a twig or a leaf or an herb or somethin'.
–C Train
White guy on cell: It's the goddamn Cherry Blossom Festival… so get your ass out here.
–Outside Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Maintenance worker to another: Oh, come on! It's not working now. Let's try plugging it into the tree.
–42 St & 2nd Ave
Flower vendor: Shut up nigga, I'll slap you! Fresh roses!
–7th Ave & 26th
Overheard by: Todd
(a little black boy is skipping away from his group)
Middle aged black lady: Yeah, you skip Cosmo!
Nerdy 13-year-old white boy: Yeah, skip to your own fuckin' loo, motherfucker!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Christiana Little
White college dude with glasses: Guys, you absolutely must check out this new reality television show. It is off the hiz-ook. Literally, off the hiz-ook.
College chick: Why do we hang out with you?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
White queer to friend: So I was sitting there at the restaurant with my parents and looked to my left, and who was there? LL Cool J! Ooooh, girl, he is fine. I was all: "Hey, LL, you can park your big Underground Railroad right in my behind!"
–UES
Hipster: You can’t really enjoy Evel Knievel in the traditional sense.
–St. Mark’s Place
Nine-year old boy to another: Ooh, Indiana Jones! Look, Shia LaBeouf! I used to go out with him.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: learned something new about Shia LeBeouf
Proud teen: I had my picture taken with Dennis Rodman’s sister.
–Houston & West Broadway
Worried hipster: And I think Judge Judy would just say that I don’t have a leg to stand on.
–W 19th St
Bus driver: I know what it’s like to miss a flight. You have to ride a Greyhound bus and sit next to a fat guy who eats Cheez-Its and talks about Scott Baio way too much.
–NYAS Shuttle, JFK
Overheard by: innocent bus rider
Black girl: I’m not voting. I’m from Illinois and I never registered to get an absentee ballot.
White guy: Well, Obama’s clearly going to win there, anyway. (pause) Oh, wait… No, I didn’t mean…
Black girl: No, it’s okay, you’re right, I would have voted for him.
White guy: But that’s not why I… It wasn’t the black thing, it was the NYU thing.
–NYU Silver Center
Waspy girl on cell: No, it’s totally safe up here. I mean there are hipsters on the street.
Passing hipster (to friend wearing Members Only jacket): Is she talking about us?
–125th & Park
Crowd watching Indiana Jones trailer: Yeah! Woo hoo!
Young black guy (legitimately surprised): Damn! That whip drives the white folks crazy!
–Court Street Multiplex, Brooklyn
Overheard by: iiams
