LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes.
Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL!
Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand — that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil!
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Swanny
Young black man outside barber shop: Hey, lady!
White lady, digging through her purse: Oh, hi…
Young black man, sitting and gesturing: What you digging for? My heart is right here!
–Jamaica Ave & Parsons
Overheard by: Lady Walking By
Man: You look like the black Sigourney Weaver.
Woman: I’m not black.
Man: Are you Sigourney Weaver?
–Oasis coffee shop, Hunts Point
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Lady #1: What are you looking at?
Lady #2: Hand sanitizer.
Lady #1: Don’t get that shit. It’s so overrated.
–Target, Bronx
Overheard by: Jas & Jess
Woman on phone: The point is, I asked you to marry me and you hesitated. You hesitated!
–Grand Central Terminal
Acting professor: Act as if you're fascinated by what they're saying, while thinking about something else. That's what boys learn to do when they get married.
–NYU
Overheard by: Lisa
Man, advising another flirting with hot woman: You gotta go for it–unless she's married!
–2 Train
Five-year-old boy to another: Yeah, well… I'll let you marry my daughter!
–10th St & University
Overheard by: Ricky
Man to male friend: So basically, I took her to a gay bar on our wedding night.
–Central Park
Chick to guy: Are we *seriously* arguing about whether or not aunt Jemima would support gay marriage?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ladle
Tall man to fat woman (after pouring two glasses of water): You want a glass?
Fat woman: No, thanks.
Tall man: God told me to pour two glasses. He talks to me all the time.
Fat woman: Okay, if your god told you, I have to take it.
–Montefiore Medical Center
Overheard by: Juantanom Bay
Lady #1: Canadia is a continent!
Lady #2: No, Canadia is definitely a state.
–Subway
Overheard by: Cathi
Man: I'm not going to have this conversation with you!
Woman: Why not?
Man: Because that's just setting myself up for an open-ended ass kicking.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Blueshmoo
Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.]
–1 train
Overheard by: caitlinj
Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Mariah
Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.
–Forest Hills
Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!
–1 train
Overheard by: wba
Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)
Guy: Do you carry Frisbees?
Duane Reade lady: What’s a Frisbee?
–Duane Reade, 89th and Columbus
Overheard by: Ethan Aronoff
