[A couple are looking in the mirror.]Man: Why don’t you ever say anything when my glasses are all wonky?
Woman: Say anything?
Man: Yeah, like you wonky cunt.
–Bloomingdale’s, 3rd Ave
[A couple are looking in the mirror.]Man: Why don’t you ever say anything when my glasses are all wonky?
Woman: Say anything?
Man: Yeah, like you wonky cunt.
–Bloomingdale’s, 3rd Ave
30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!
–Spring & Greene
20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!
–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: jess
Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: X. L. Percy
Loud woman on cell: I suck your dick and we can't be Facebook friends?
–20th St & 6th Ave
Guy to buddies in the passing Skyfari car: Yo, that building over there… That's the building where I got that $5 blowjob.
–Skyfari, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Stefan Yonker
Young man, dismissively: I could fucking suck cocks for a living, it doesn't matter!
–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave
Middle schooler, wrestling in Aids memorial: Ooops, I sucked your dick!
–Hudson River Park
Overheard by: Nina & Phil
Middle-school girl to mother: My e-mail password is "blowjob".
–L Train
Lady #1: Osama doesn’t have a chance to win the election.
Lady #2: Osama? Don’t you mean Barack Obama?
Lady #1: No, not him.
–5 Train
Overheard by: E-Stuff
Woman in line at Duane Reade: I drank your water, um, that bottle of bottled water?
Boyfriend: The one with the vodka in it?
Woman: Yeah, and it, um, tasted funny. I had to lie down.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No. You should have come to bed.
Boyfriend: I did. You were asleep.
–59th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Tanker
Woman, about couple filing in for orchestra seat: What are those people doing?
Man: They're standing.
Woman: Oh, I wouldn't stand for an opera.
–Standing Room, Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Cheryl
Elderly woman #1: He's such a nice guy.
Elderly woman #2: Yeah, but they say his wife doesn't talk.
Elderly woman #1: What? You mean she's a mute?
Elderly woman #2: No, she's a stockbroker.
Elderly woman #1: Oooh.
–Thai Restaurant
Overheard by: helloworld
Conductor: Borough Hall. Next stop, Heaven…excuse me, Nevins.
Woman: Um, should I get off here?
–5 train
Overheard by: James
Well-dressed woman to passerby: Excuse me. Which way is up?
–53rd & Madison
Overheard by: Kitsune
Stoned guy: I think I thought I had a thought in my head…but I was wrong.
–74th S & Colonial Rd, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Woman in Lycra leopard print dress: I had to jam out with my clam out. I had to jam out with my clam out!
Man: Daamnnn…
–Nostrand & Lincoln, Crown Heights
