College girl: He's married and all, but he's really, really hot.
College boy: Isn't he like 50?
College girl: His feet are like size 14. I'm just saying.
–Times Square
Overheard by: soxie
College girl: He's married and all, but he's really, really hot.
College boy: Isn't he like 50?
College girl: His feet are like size 14. I'm just saying.
–Times Square
Overheard by: soxie
20-something woman #1: She's an adult, and she still doesn't know how to blow dry her own hair!
20-something woman #2: I know! And she looks like shit when she comes into work.
20-something woman #1: It's absolutely disgusting!
20-something woman #2: Everyone is all wearing makeup and she's just not!
20-something woman #1: I know it's not in your job contract to blow dry your hair, but come on!
–1 Train
Girl on cell: And then she said "dammit, I'm in love with a 52-year-old gay man," and I was like "well, who isn't?"
–Astoria
Overheard by: AnotherFagHag
Man on cell: So I told her, "I missed you more than I loved you," but I didn't mean it in a bad way.
–6th Ave & 17th St
Overheard by: memzilla
Black student to black girl sitting next to him: See that's why niggas don't tell bitches they love 'em!
–St. John's University
Overheard by: naha
Thug on cell: No, no. I love your whole ass as issss.
–Broadway & Beaver
Girl to group of friends: Right, I'm so incapable of love because I think sex is gross!
–LIRR
Hot 20-something to another: Either he acts like he doesn't know me, or he is a total asshole. No wonder I'm in love with him.
–Union Square
Man in bar, with the air of explaining a very simple concept: We need to shoot every fucking robber in the head, right? Then there would be no robbers.
–Midtown
Mom to son picking leaves off a potted plant: You better stop doing that or else they'll shoot you.
–Roosevelt Island Golf Center
Overheard by: erak
40-something female suit: I'm looking for a particular kind of venom for my blow-gun darts.
–The High Line
60-something woman to two admiring 30-something women: My body no longer produces estrogen and I carry a gun in my purse… Who's going to mess with me?
–Prince & Sullivan
Large black guy: ' Scuse me, do you know David Jensen?
Attractive gay guy: Nope, sorry.
Large black guy: Oh, man, cuz you look just like him, have you ever been on tv? Friends?
Attractive gay guy: Nope.
Large black guy: What about Baywatch?
Attractive gay guy: Nope, sorry, pretty sure the last episode of Baywatch aired when I was eleven.
Large black guy: You must get all sorts of shorties, right?
Attractive gay guy: Ha! Well, maybe if I wasn't gay.
Large black guy: Oh, man! I'm gonna have David text you, look out for his number.
Attractive gay guy: Uhhh, sure thing.
Large black guy, one stop later, as they're both getting off the train: Yo, just so you know, ain't nothing like pussy.
–7 Train
Older gentleman: Man! Yesterday was my birthday. Guess how old I am?
Disinterested older lady: I dunno. 40s?
Older gentleman: I'm 53 but I still look like I'm in my 30s.
Disinterested older lady, deadpan: I'm a million years old.
Older gentleman: Where you headin'?
Disinterested older lady: Up to 125th Street, then I take the bus to Queens.
Older gentleman: Queens? I never been to no Queens. What's out there in Queens, man? I gotta visit one day.
Disinterested older lady: You ain't missing much.
–M15 Bus
Girl on date: My mother had an abortion when I was 11.
Boy on date: That must be because your parents realized they could never produce anything as beautiful as you again.
–Awash Ethiopian Restaurant, 106th St & Amsterdam
Guy to friend: Remember that chick I told you about who told me that I could smell her cum?
–City Hall New York Sports Club
Latina girl on cell: Didn't Nick get you that phone? (pause) No, not really… (pause) Cause I'm spoiled. (pause) That's not true, I spoil you, boy… I got you that perfume. It smells real nice, actually not that nice. It smells like granny… It smells like abuelita!
–Union Square
Teeny Asian lady on cell, screaming at the top of her lungs: Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something hipster girl to friend, after running to catch the subway: I think this is the r… It smells like the r.
–R Train
20-something girl to friend: You smell good, but I smell better.
–Bond St
Little girl: I just don't understand why…
Dad: Look here: I'll give you the money for the tickets and you can buy the tickets for the movie!
Little girl, sounding less than enthused: Uh-huh. Timmy's five, like me, and he has a cell phone…
–Loews Movie Theater, Lincoln Square
First grade girl #1: When I grow up, I wanna be a seal trainer!
First grade girl #2: When I grow up, I wanna be a seal!
–Sea Lion Exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: helenathegreat
