Greyhound bus driver woman: Man, you best get out of this Greyhound only parking.
Tour bus driver: We're only doing a drop-off! We'll be out of here in two minutes.
Greyhound bus driver woman: Boy! You better get your skank-ass bus out of here before I get the po-leece. I run this city!
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: Kait
Drunk high-class hooker: I wanna tell you a joke.
Drunk suit: Okay, what is it?
Drunk high-class hooker: What is the definition of “indefinitely”?
Drunk suit: I dunno, what?
Drunk high-class hooker: When your balls are against my ass, you're in… definitely!
–Del Frisco's Steak House
Overheard by: the itis
Drunk old man: Ain't nothing wrong with hot butt naked sex! Ain't nothing wrong with it, am I right?
Passing teen girl: Nothing!
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: In Agreement
Young JAP: So I heard they were doing anal at this party and he hit this nerve in her ass, and she started shitting all over her mom's bed.
Random guy, muttering: That's soooooo hot.
–1 Train
Overheard by: ugh
Girl: Rodney, don't make fun of us because we're short! It's funny–when I sit down, I'm taller than him. (gestures to other short friend)
Rodney: You get two feet taller with your ass.
–1 Train
Cute 18-year-old girl, looking in a mirror: I can't believe I still have this pimple on my chin.
Older sister: Let me see. Geez, I think it's getting bigger.
Metrosexual brother: That's because she shaves her beard with the razor I use for my ass.
–Upper West Side
Large ghetto lady: Astro place?
Thug: Yeah, Astro place.
Large ghetto lady: Motherfucka, can you read?!
Thug: It's Astro place, it should definitely be Astro place.
Large ghetto lady: It's Astor place, ain't no Astro place.
Thug: Like, do you throw asses at it and shit?
Large ghetto lady: Asto-o-o-o-r-r-r place (laughs condescendingly for at least a minute) Yo, I got arrested at Astor place.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Sad to say, I got off at the same stop.
Glum construction worker, singing slowly: We will…we will…not get paid.
–Caton Place
Overheard by: Cottonfluff
Hardhat to another: You got a rash on yo ass, know what I'm sayin?
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: j
Construction worker to friends, watching girl in a bubble dress walk down the street: Damn, yo, I hate those skirts, yo. That's the stupidest shit I ever seen.
–13th St & 5th Ave
Construction worker to group of girls walking past, carrying food bags: Want to grab lunch?
(girls ignore him) Dinner? Breakfast? (girls continue to ignore him, so he yells at them) Just a snack, then?
–Prince Street
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Eastern European construction worker to pigeon: You! Yes, hey you! Eat this! Is good for you! Will put hair on your balls! Yes, eat, eat!
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Girl: Dude, good think Thom Yorke is a great musician, because that guy looks like my dog's ass.
Guy: If your dog's ass looks like Thom Yorke, I suggest you put that dog up for sale.
Girl: I would never sell my dog!
Guy: I would sell my dog on eBay in a heartbeat.
Girl: You can't sell animals on eBay.
Guy: I would sell my dog's leash and throw in the dog for free.
–Fordham Ram Van
Overheard by: sromeo
45-year-old woman: So I ended up shaving it, and it looks so pretty! It's like I'm ten years old again!
–Houlihans Restaurant
Overheard by: remembers when she was ten years old
Girl on cell: Wait. The dad shaves the son's ass?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy in shower to guy in the next: Man, I am never shaving my pubes again.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Guy with a bunch of tattoos: The sex was great, but she was psychotic. Every time I shaved she would accuse me of having had oral sex with another woman.
–86th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alan
British woman on cell: Are you shaving? Your face or your balls?
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Just around
