Freaked-out college chick, pointing at large bump on friend's stomach : Ah! What is that?
Flustered 20-something, in coarse Boston accent: What the hell's the matter with you? You've never had a chocolate-covered raisin in your belly button before?
–St. John's University Queens Campus
Overheard by: What about a milk dud?
Girl, looking at strawberry marshmallows: We could play chubby bunny with those.
Guy #1: Huh?
Girl: That's where you count how many marshmallows you shove in your mouth before you can't talk anymore.
Guy #2: People have died doing that.
Girl: Yeah, but probably only the dumb ones.
–8th Ave
Overheard by: IQ Test is Shoving Them in Your Mouth Anyway
Sick cop to another: The way I see it, you've got seven holes in your head. If you don't wanna get sick, you just gotta keep your fingers out of those seven holes. Then you'll be good.
–ER, Saint Vincent Hospital
Overheard by: Dustin
Old-school pimp on cell: I'm sick. (pause) Naw, baby, I just want you to bring me some money and chicken soup.
–96th & Columbus Ave
Woman on phone: Yeah, I'm doing really well. I just have some cancerous issues. But other than that, I'm great!
–East Village
Overheard by: Erin
Woman to friend: So I was worried I had a urinary tract infection or something, even though it didn't hurt when I was peeing. But it turns out it was just a pube stuck in my clit.
–R Train
Overheard by: what the hell?
Guy to friend: So, I finally got athlete's foot.
–116th & Broadway
Chick to guy friend: Well, if you hadn't spent the entire morning cursing out yo momma, then you wouldn't had gotten swine flu!
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Amused Freshman
Hippie girl on cell: Hey, mom! How are you? (pause) Not so good, actually, my bloodwork just came back and I have Lyme disease! (pause) I know…it's like 70 degrees here!
–42nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: AwkwardTwig
Girl on train #1: Yeah, that was when I was snorting coke out of Maya's fake nails.
Girl on train #2, appalled: Ew! That's so dirty!
Girl on train #1: It was spring break in Mexico, everything was dirty.
Girl on train #2, shrugging: True.
–A Train
Girl: Oh, so new thing: if I smoke with my left hand, that will make me more ambidextrous.
Friend: No.
–43rd St & 6th Ave
Teenage girl: My mom is always reminding me to lock my door because you got to worry about the bloods and the clots.
–Uptown 2 Train
Emo chick: So he goes to this party and he does it with this old guy. He pretty much went home with a bloody butthole.
–Roseland Ballroom
Overheard by: charlotte
Suit on cell: Never in my life have I seen that much blood in the trunk of a car.
–82nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Karyn
Small Asian girl to large drag queen: So then he, like, bit off his tongue and nearly bled to death. (long pause) Or maybe I was just high.
–Elevator, Brooklyn
Teenage girl #1: Ow! Why did you throw your brain so hard?
Teenage girl #2: You know you're into that kind of shit.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Pretending to look at a map
Drunk preteen girl #1, dragging friend across room: Don't touch her hand!
Drunk preteen girl #2: Why not?
Drunk preteen girl #1: Cause she just peed on it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Allison T
Guy pouring himself cup of coffee to guy watching: You and I just really need to have a huge fight. I think that's the only way we can truly be friends.
–Fox News Breakroom
Overheard by: CreateEvity
College girl on cell: I'm a real-life imaginary friend to two different people.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Am I Imaginary?
Soft-spoken thug on cell: I don't want to upset my baby momma, but I don't want to lose you as a friend.
–123rd & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl on phone: His name isn't CJ, it's JP. He wants to be friends with me, I'm gonna friend the heck outta him!
–Lafayette & White
Loud gay guy: So he asks me, "are we still just friends?" and I'm like, "umm, your dick was just in my mouth. Thats not what just friends do."
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ricardo the Sex Machine
Suit to hot chick: So what's your take on the bottled water companies? Friend or foe?
–Odeon, Thomas & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Loud chick: When gully's really hungry, he'll be like, “rowr! rowr!” And then he'll bite my leg.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
