Dad: I’m not sleeping with the nanny.
Son: Right, and I totally did not sleep with my fourth step-mommy.
–Gift shop, 42nd St
Overheard by: ears/wide/open
Dad: I’m not sleeping with the nanny.
Son: Right, and I totally did not sleep with my fourth step-mommy.
–Gift shop, 42nd St
Overheard by: ears/wide/open
Carnie: Come play Shoot the Freak! What d’ya come to Coney Island for, to swim in dirty water?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Overheard by: Jena
Guy: Shut up and never call me again, you freak.
–56th & 13th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: bobby
Peddler: Coney Island Freak Show t-shirts! It’s the new Gucci!
–Siren Music Fest, Coney Island
Overheard by: Sinestro
White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.
–MetroTech, Lawrence St
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Drunk Jersey girl #1: I can never submit anything to Overheard in New York
Drunk Jersey girl #2: Why not? You’re in New York more than you’re in Jersey.
Drunk Jersey girl #1: Yeah but by the time I get home I’m drunk and I forget what I heard.
Drunk Jersey girl #2: You’re a fuckin’ mess. Get a laptop.
–5th Ave & Union
A couple watched the fireworks.
Wife: Oh my god! They was so close! I got ashes in my hair! Ashes in my face! They were all over the fucking place!
Husband: Too bad they weren’t shootin’ off corned beef!
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Gurnsonian the Lesser
Guy: The smell of fireworks always reminds me of fucking a dead hooker.
–McCarren Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Dan
Stewardess: To all US citizens aboard this flight, happy 4th of July. We would like to thank England for divorcing us several centuries ago and giving us our independence!
–JFK flight into Heathrow
Overheard by: Jeanne Fu
Girl #1: Are you able to go on your roof to watch the Macy’s fireworks?
Girl #2: I don’t even know if my building has a roof.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Room 3
Girl on cell: How the hell am I supposed to know what time the fireworks start? Who do you think I am, America?
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Chris
Bimbo #1: Yeah, I really think I like him. We get along so well. I mean, we have a lot in common.
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah? Like what?
Bimbo #1: Well, we both love pugs.
Bimbo #2: As in the type of dog? Everyone loves pugs. How can you not like pugs? They are so fucking cute.
Bimbo #1 (challengingly): Yeah? Well, how about this one? Both of our dads died in plane crashes.
Bimbo #2: Oh. My. God. You are sooo meant to be together.
–Brooklyn Bound N Train
Overheard by: totes meant to be
Old Man: You put your hands on me again, I’ll cut your fucking throat.
–Post Office, Bensonhurst
Tall girl: I think I'm part dog.
Short girl: That explains a lot.
–Kings Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margot
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
–E Train
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
–Central Park
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
–Union Hall
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
Tall thug to another: Yo,… I love jail food!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Never had it
Dad to overly excited daughter: Yes, you can tell your mom you went in the bouncy castle in front of the prison.
–Atlantic & Smith
Screaming four-year-old to mom: Are you going to put me in jail?
–Q Train
Young mother to baby, pinching his cheeks: Daddy's in prison! Prisonprisonprisonprisonprison!
–Jackson Heights, Queens
Overheard by: Giving up all hope Newsbunny
