Girl #1, at school cafeteria: What is that?
Girl #2: Polenta.
Girl #1: I've never had it. Can I have a bite of your placenta?
–Bedford-Stuy
Girl #1, at school cafeteria: What is that?
Girl #2: Polenta.
Girl #1: I've never had it. Can I have a bite of your placenta?
–Bedford-Stuy
Eight-year-old girl to eight-year-old friend: You see, I love him, but I can't make that kind of commitment right now.
–Carroll Gardens
Lone suit, shaking fists in air: Why do fools fall in love?!
–Wall Street
Overheard by: poisonivy
Woman to neighbor, shouting out of the window: She's an idiot! She knows the man's a fucking bullshit artist, and she's in love with him!
–Hoffman St & 187th
Inebriated, tattooed man on cell: You fuckin' love me?! You fuckin' know what? That's fuckin' unreal, you know why?! Because you fuckin' don't!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Cara
Sallow, skinny, melancholy tattooed dude: Looking for love in all the wrong places… That's why I was after her ass.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Man on cell: My identity has totally shifted, and so have my bowel movements.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Mickey Smith
Girl to another: I took a shit in Starbucks… did you take a shit in Starbucks?
–Outside Starbucks
Woman to friend: There were no feces for (pause) two days.
–Canal and W Broadway
Overheard by: LizzieD
Girl in toilet stall, repeatedly: Someone pooped on the floor! This is so gross! Medieval freaks! And it's shaped like a dragon! Come here and look at it!
–New York Renaissance Fair
British woman to man she's walking with, as they look at a pigeon: Of course he doesn't have to sit down to poo, he's a bird!
–Washington Square South
Enraged crazy old lady feeding pigeons, to punk kid chasing pigeons: Eat the caca! Eat the caca!
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: ShaghouseGirls
Cashier: Look, it's $1.99, okay? Then, I take $1.49, okay. So it's two for a dollar, okay.
Customer: I don't get it, it said it was two for a dollar and you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: No, no, no, see, it's $1.99, okay. I take out $1.49 okay. See, watch. I scan it and it says $1.99. Then I take out 1.49, see.
Customer: No, I don't see, I don't get why you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: Ugh… Mary*, come here. (speaks to Mary* in Spanish)
Mary*: When she scans it you don't see the real amount because she isn't finished the transaction yet.
Customer: Then why wasn't she showing me that?
Mary*: She did show you that.
–Pratt Institute Associated, Myrtle Ave
Overheard by: Is Subtraction Really That Hard?
Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch!
–Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!
–27th St, between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Hungry
Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"!
–27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington
Overheard by: V
Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed!
–Coney Island Ave & Newkirk
30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: CourtSnort
Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h?
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: Jingles
Big black lady with yellow weave: Hey! Get off of my breasteses!
Toddler son: Why?
–Marine Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie
Friend #1, at memorial: Dude, did you see those pictures of Mike's mom when she was in high school?
Friend #2: No, why?
Friend #1: Dude, she was fine!
Friend #2: Really?
–Funeral Home, Brooklyn
Angry woman, venting: Oh, but he doesn't know I scrapbook like a motherfucker.
–M&J Trimming
Girl, screaming: Fuck you, International Baccalaureate!
–Brooklyn
Really angry guy on cell: I'm talkin' about mothafuckin' cookies and apple juice!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Q
Well-dressed black man, addressing entire train: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk to you today about… fucking. You see, everybody likes to fuck. My parents love to fuck. My ex-wife–she loved to fuck. President Obama, he enjoys fucking…
–Q Train
Overheard by: Hunter
Six-year-old girl to mother, ready for day at the beach: Shit, mom! It's fucking raining!
–Q Train
Suit on cell, cheerily: Okay, fuck you, bye!
–7th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: dignell
