Man #1: Yes you did!
Man #2: I didn't fuck your grandma!
–Central Park Zoo
Man #1: Yes you did!
Man #2: I didn't fuck your grandma!
–Central Park Zoo
Little kid looking out subway window: Look mom! The projects!
–N Train
Overheard by: patricia
Three-year-old girl to mom looking at a painting: Why am I so biiiggggg?
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: alison
Little boy, whining to his mother while following her the wrong way through IKEA: We're never going to get out of here!
–IKEA, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lost In Space
Small child: Look at that pigeon, mommy, I want to eat it!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Natalie
Two-year-old girl (shaking her ass): Hubba hubba!
–Central Park
Little boy: Mommy! Let's go look at the hos now!
–Museum of Natural History, Native American Exhibit
Pudgy Asian kid standing in circle of sitting summer campers: The capital of Thailand is Bangkok! Who wants a tea bag?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Thaibag
Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know.
–Outside Cubbyhole
Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers.
–Bleecker & W 10th St
Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: linda
Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive.
–Concert on The Great Lawn
Overheard by: sternie
Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you.
–Financial District
Crazy guy with black Labrador (angrily): Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were my friend.
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Sizzle
Middle aged Rastafari to Labrador: This isn't a chew toy, motherfucker!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Sarah
Man to small puppy: You're so round and furry, aren't you Oscar? You're like a Mexican!
–Fordham Road
Old lady with tiny dog: Sparky, I really don't want to be in here.
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Ave
Woman to dog: Oh, rolling onto your back again, are you? Just like the slutty girl at prom…
–Extra Virgin Restaurant, The Village
Overheard by: wink
(crazy hobo walks up to little girl's dog and picks it up)
Crazy homeless man (shouting in the dog's face): I would name you snowball, but you're brown!
–Tompkins Square Park
(large Russian woman walks by and says hi)
Old Jewish guy #1: Waddya think of her? She's Russian, right?
Old Jewish guy #2: Yeah, yeah, you can tell. I don't go for that, though. She's a big broad, real chunky. She's like a big tomato.
–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park
Overheard by: makes me hungry…
Man #1: I always look for hot babes on the way to work, but never see much.
Man #2: That's because the hot ones work in fashion. Only ugly girls have to be at work this early.
–Columbus Circle
Girl: 12 son!
Guy: What?
Girl: That's my number.
Guy: Who was the 12th?
Girl: Some guy that picked me up off the side of the road, literally.
Guy: Well, did he at least pay you for it?
Girl: No, I felt bad that he had to take me home, so I paid him… with my vagina.
–Central Park
Overheard by: it's as good as cash
Conspiracy theorist: The government knows everything these days. The goddamn E-ZPass knows when I'm going to be intimate.
–Sly Fox Bar
Overheard by: Cait O'Connor
Dude on cell (angrily): You should not be paying that much for oil, man… No, we are not going to run out of oil anytime soon! Don't you know that there are X-ray satellites all around the Earth, and they know the location of all the oil, natural gas, and aluminum under the ground? We can do that, because we have the satellite technology!
–Bronx 2 Train
Elderly man seeing another with cochlear implant: Wow… now they re talking to your brain!
–Time Warner Building, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: michael
Drunk hobo on R train: I never met a woman that wasn't a federal agent. You can't trust women. Women are like computers. Never trust a machine that can think.
–R Train
High school girl: You know what I just found out? Those crop circles are real! I didn't know that! And if you take an electronic device down there to video tape them, it will explode.
–Wendy's
Young hippie girl: So you're too tired to go to the Empire State Building and you're too hot to go on the boats? So basically you don't love me.
Old, sweaty, stressed guy (laughing): We're here again?
–Central Park
Dude: Mount Olympus is just, like, one giant trailer park.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy: People in Vietnam are different than us.
–Park & 24th
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl to friend: Say something in British, or wherever you're from… Switzerland!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Larry
Supposedly well-traveled woman: But you know where I want to go next? Buenos Aires! They haven't changed to the Euro yet.
–3rd & B
Hipster: I'm going to punch Uzbekistan.
–West 42nd St
Hipster girl to boyfriend: People like you, you're the reason people die in Mexico!
–18th & 1st
Overheard by: Jessica
