Chubby 20-something girl in skintight tracksuit: It is so effing cold out here! I'm freezing my tits off!
Rail thin friend: Really? I'm not.
Chubby girl: That's because you don't have any tits, idiot!
Rail thin friend, quietly: Oh…yeah…
–Central Park
Overheard by: I was freezing my tits off too
Tourist #1: I've been in about 40 states so far.
Tourist #2: Wow, that's like half of them!
–Central Park
Overheard by: 1f
Father: Hurry up or we'll be late! If we're late mommy is gonna spank you!
Toddler son: (shocked look)
Father: I'm kidding, mommy would never spank you, mommy would spank daddy.
Toddler son: Mommy spanks daddy?
Father (with a devious smile): Mommy spanks daddy all the time!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Man #1: Yes you did!
Man #2: I didn't fuck your grandma!
–Central Park Zoo
Little kid looking out subway window: Look mom! The projects!
–N Train
Overheard by: patricia
Three-year-old girl to mom looking at a painting: Why am I so biiiggggg?
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: alison
Little boy, whining to his mother while following her the wrong way through IKEA: We're never going to get out of here!
–IKEA, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lost In Space
Small child: Look at that pigeon, mommy, I want to eat it!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Natalie
Two-year-old girl (shaking her ass): Hubba hubba!
–Central Park
Little boy: Mommy! Let's go look at the hos now!
–Museum of Natural History, Native American Exhibit
Pudgy Asian kid standing in circle of sitting summer campers: The capital of Thailand is Bangkok! Who wants a tea bag?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Thaibag
Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know.
–Outside Cubbyhole
Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers.
–Bleecker & W 10th St
Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: linda
Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive.
–Concert on The Great Lawn
Overheard by: sternie
Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you.
–Financial District
Crazy guy with black Labrador (angrily): Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were my friend.
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Sizzle
Middle aged Rastafari to Labrador: This isn't a chew toy, motherfucker!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Sarah
Man to small puppy: You're so round and furry, aren't you Oscar? You're like a Mexican!
–Fordham Road
Old lady with tiny dog: Sparky, I really don't want to be in here.
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Ave
Woman to dog: Oh, rolling onto your back again, are you? Just like the slutty girl at prom…
–Extra Virgin Restaurant, The Village
Overheard by: wink
(crazy hobo walks up to little girl's dog and picks it up)
Crazy homeless man (shouting in the dog's face): I would name you snowball, but you're brown!
–Tompkins Square Park
(large Russian woman walks by and says hi)
Old Jewish guy #1: Waddya think of her? She's Russian, right?
Old Jewish guy #2: Yeah, yeah, you can tell. I don't go for that, though. She's a big broad, real chunky. She's like a big tomato.
–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park
Overheard by: makes me hungry…
Man #1: I always look for hot babes on the way to work, but never see much.
Man #2: That's because the hot ones work in fashion. Only ugly girls have to be at work this early.
–Columbus Circle
Girl: 12 son!
Guy: What?
Girl: That's my number.
Guy: Who was the 12th?
Girl: Some guy that picked me up off the side of the road, literally.
Guy: Well, did he at least pay you for it?
Girl: No, I felt bad that he had to take me home, so I paid him… with my vagina.
–Central Park
Overheard by: it's as good as cash
