Shy sounding suit: You know how you get your fingerprints off the gun? You pee on it, the prints wipe right off. Most people don’t know that.

–3 Train

Overheard by: Two Fingaz

Dude: You’re starting to sound like that guy with the gun on your dad’s video.

–Inwood

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Latina teenager to friend: I don’t know why we can’t be having duels anymore. Enough fighting! Just be, like: "Let’s have a duel!" and then go out and shoot each other!

–Rush Hour, L Train

Man on cell (waving his hand around in the shape of a gun): I’ve got a gun in my hand! Oh crap, I mean not a real one. I shouldn’t have said that out loud.

–32nd & 6th

Overheard by: sromeo

Self-important white girl: So then my friends started talking about the shooting up here, and I was like: "Screw you all, you didn’t even call up to find out if I was dead."

–126th & Lenox

Preaching hobo: This year they raise your rent. And the year after. Soon you have to shoot them. You know this.

–34th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Rent Controlled

Man: I understand remembering things differently. I just don’t understand how one could confuse being shot at with not being shot at.

–6th Ave & 3rd St, Park Slope