Dating

International Wednesday One-Liners Of Mystery

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Overheard by: HookahFanatic

Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu

Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.

–Outside the Federal Reserve

20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.

–Broadway & 39th St

Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.

–116th St & 8th

Overheard by: Matt & Stacy

Wait, Back Up to the Chalupa Date

Girl: Taco Bell is fifty cents, but I don’t want to go to Taco Bell for a date.
Guy: Have you noticed that if you say “Taco Bell” enough, it starts to sound funny?
Girl: Taco Bell.
Guy: Taco Bell. It sounds like a battle of the Civil War.
Girl: The Battle of Taco Bell.

—Threepenny Opera, Studio 54

Obviously Reformed

A Gentile Yuppie: I once dated a Rabbi’s daughter, in the Hamptons. I went to a family barbeque, and he asked me, ‘Do you want cheese on your hamburger?’ and I thought, ‘Ah–this is a moment of truth–one of those key moments in a relationship, where the family will judge me–what should I say?’ and I said, ‘Yes, I would’–and then the Rabbi responded, ‘Great! Then Cheese for Everybody!'”

— Bar Tabac, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

And by the Way, He's Ross and I'm Rachel

Hell's kitchen gay #1: Is it too weird that my boyfriend and I dated the same guy?
Hell's kitchen gay #2: Uhh…
Hell's kitchen gay #1: Well, I broke up with Jake, and then Jake broke up with Travis, and then Travis and I got together.
Hell's kitchen gay #2: Well at least you were all broken up first.

–53rd & 8th

Kindly Tell Me More.

Girl: The woman hasn't had a date in…ten years!
Guy: She's a lesbian?
Girl: No. I wish she was a lesbian…then she'd be easier to deal with. Actually, last night I dreamed she was a lesbian.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Jenny

Ten Bucks Says He Still Boned Her

Guy to friend: She overdosed for the first time when she was, like, 14.
Friend: She told you that? (pause) Some first date…

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: JG

I Think She Just Came Out…

Rashad: That’s not the new Rashad. That’s the old Rashad. I don’t do that anymore! I wouldn’t date the old Rashad. I wouldn’t date me at all. I’m dating you!
Girlfriend: Then what am I doing with you?
Rashad: Come on, like you would date you?
Girlfriend: Yes!

–72nd & 2nd

The Most Romantic Quote We've Received in a While

Girl: How was your date last night?
Guy: He had a sick body but an ugly face. I slept with him anyway.

–84th St & 2nd Ave

The Wednesday One-liners Monologues

Southern girl: I got guys asking me to send them pictures of my cooter. It’s like guys know when you’re taken; they flock to you like bees to moldy bread.

–3 train

The Adult Film Industry Will Be Happy to Guide You

Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing…
Friend: Again… Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!

–Uptown 2 Train

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist