Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
Curator: These were done in live performances. Yves Klein actually used bodies to create these pieces!
Woman: Oh my god!
Curator, smiling: Yeah.
Woman, with horrified expression: Dead bodies!?
Curator: No, live people. (proceeds to laugh awkwardly)
–MoMA
Overheard by: Sarah
Glue sniffer #1: You wanna hear something fucked up?
Glue sniffer #2: Yeah.
Glue sniffer #1: Do you wanna know how she died? She tripped over her dog.
–F Train
Overheard by: 310 retuns to 212
Woman: You know what movie I just saw? Superbad.
Man: I saw that movie with my father's family. On the day of my grandmother's funeral.
–Brooklyn
Teacher: There is a kind of poison acid found in apple seeds.
Blonde: Is that how Johnny Appleseed died?
–NYU
Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should've said “mom, fuck church!”
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn't be alive. I would've been under the couch. My mama would've stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn't smell.
–6 Train
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Lady gallerist #1: I had that funeral director in today. Guess what he told me…
Lady gallerist #2: You mean the guy from Jersey who has that huge funeral home?
Lady gallerist #1: Yeah, he purchased a 12k sculpture and said, “it was so nice getting to know you… I wish I could do that with my clients.”
–57th St & Lexington
Guy #1: Today's going by so fast. I can't believe it's almost one.
Guy #2: Yeah, today needs to slow down. I don't want to approach my death so quickly.
–Elevator, The Village
Overheard by: Laura
Conductor over PA: Attention passengers, ladies and gentlemen, this is the train to… Um… Where the hell are we going? Train to somewhere. Let's go somewhere!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rob T Firefly
NJ transit conductor: If you are getting off at Linden, you need to be in the front two cars. If you are wearing your headphones, I don't want to hear you complain later. (five minutes later) If you are getting off at Linden, you need to be in the first two cars. If you are confused about where the front of the train is, it's the way we are facing and the way the train is moving. Just turn the same way the train is moving and walk up to the front two cars.
–Penn Station
Conductor: This is a downtown 1 train. Sorry, an uptown 1 train. The next stop is 110th. Actually, the next stop is 103rd. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Samantha
Conductor: Next stop is Wall Street. Wall Street, where they compromise everything.
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Ellen
Angry conductor: We apologize for the delay in service while the police inspected the train. Contrary to popular belief, there are no dead people on this train.
–Downtown N Train
Overheard by: Dead Men Can't Talk
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are stopped because of… Because of… Fuck! I don't know.
–6 Train
Delivery truck man #1: You know what's great at that Chinese spot?
Delivery truck man #2: What?
Delivery truck man #1: Their pork dumplings.
Delivery truck man #2: I'll tell you what.
Delivery truck man #1: What?
Delivery truck man #2: That's definitely not kosher.
(they laugh)
Delivery truck man #1: But wait if I take it to a rabbi to bless, can it become kosher?
Delivery truck man #2: Good question.
Delivery truck man #1: Yeah… Wow! We are on the right side of the ferry, remember when the right side was for only cokeheads and weedheads, and your mother would say “don't go on the right side of the ferry” and people used to OD and you would find dead bodies? Those were the days!
–Staten Island Ferry
