Old lady, after being pushed by teenage girl: You jerk!
Teenage girl: Well, I really hope you die, like, tomorrow.
–Port Authority
Old lady, after being pushed by teenage girl: You jerk!
Teenage girl: Well, I really hope you die, like, tomorrow.
–Port Authority
Customer #1: You've never seen Death Wish?
Customer #2: Nope.
Customer #1, enthusiastically: He wishes for death! (pause) On others!
–Store, Union Square
Overheard by: Greg Luther
Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?
–7th Ave & W 18th
Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?
–4 Train
Overheard by: DCBX
Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!
–Middle school, Coney Island
Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."
–Gramercy
Gay student in freight elevator to other students: This reminds me of every romantic encounter I've ever had.
–SVA George Washington Dorms
Overheard by: Nicole
Flamboyant gay man to another: Have you taken a trip down to his passion peninsula?
–Gay Club, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Gay guy to girl on his arm, kindly: That was a waste of your breath and my time.
–Broadway & E 7th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Flamboyant, queened-out Lady Gaga-style gay: Diva, you have to promise me that when I die, you'll head straight up to my apartment and remove all my dildos and drugs so my mom won't find them.
–A Train
Gay man to another: He's a genealogist. Of course he's a bottom!
–6th Ave & 13th St
Female thug #1: Celebs be dying all over the place. Farrah Fawcett, now Michael Jackson.
Female thug #2: Yeah, Ed McMahon be dead too!
Female thug #1: You mean the guy who owns wrestling is dead!? Damn, I loved watching that!
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Cop on the corner
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
Curator: These were done in live performances. Yves Klein actually used bodies to create these pieces!
Woman: Oh my god!
Curator, smiling: Yeah.
Woman, with horrified expression: Dead bodies!?
Curator: No, live people. (proceeds to laugh awkwardly)
–MoMA
Overheard by: Sarah
Glue sniffer #1: You wanna hear something fucked up?
Glue sniffer #2: Yeah.
Glue sniffer #1: Do you wanna know how she died? She tripped over her dog.
–F Train
Overheard by: 310 retuns to 212
Woman: You know what movie I just saw? Superbad.
Man: I saw that movie with my father's family. On the day of my grandmother's funeral.
–Brooklyn
Teacher: There is a kind of poison acid found in apple seeds.
Blonde: Is that how Johnny Appleseed died?
–NYU
