Woman in wheelchair, smoking: Well, I didn't know they could, you know, put you on top of another one.
Woman walking and smoking: Yeah, so when you go, you want like a single to be buried in?
Woman in wheelchair: I want a single.
–18th & 7th
Woman in wheelchair, smoking: Well, I didn't know they could, you know, put you on top of another one.
Woman walking and smoking: Yeah, so when you go, you want like a single to be buried in?
Woman in wheelchair: I want a single.
–18th & 7th
Ghetto guy on cell: And then he asked me if he was gonna go to heaven and I said, "You ain't going to heaven, you are going to thug mansion!"
–125th St & Amsterdam
Thugette to thug: I killed him because he was bothering me.
–Broadway & 20th St
Overheard by: Robert G
Pretty thug in white polo (very loudly): Yo, I need to get a scale to weigh some drugs.
–Ditmars & 25th, Astoria
Thug to friend: You can't pull off the lumberjack look. You ain't the fuckin Brawny man!
–Jamba Juice, Times Square
Big thug on cell (angrily): All I'm saying is you'd *better* get your master's degree, or else!
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman #1: You hear her dog died?
Woman #2: Who dog died?
Woman #1: Oprah's dog died.
(long pause)
Woman #2: So, anyway…
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Drunken guy to stoned guy: I would kiss you, but you might remember.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lo
Girl: And so he's like, "I kissed you on the mouth last night", and I'm like "oh really? I didn't know."
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: jaytro
Dude on cell: Yeah, bro, leave it to me. I decide to cheat on my wife and I end with some stupid whore who wants to play kissie-face in a fucking Newark parking lot.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Cute girl approaches frat boy at bar: I was going to pretend I don't know you, but I do know you, and now I think I want to kiss you. Is that okay?
–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Latina girl on cell: Well, my cousin died two years ago, right, and on the one-year anniversary that's when I kissed him.
–Outside Victoria Fashions, 116th & 3rd
Overheard by: Chuckles
Older German woman with accent: So when she was little she used to take a bunch of sleeping pills and lay on the floor, and she wouldn't get up until someone kissed her! It was so cute!
–1 Train
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl: Imagine if you're fat? You would die.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Girl on cell: I just don't trust her, she's fat. Fat girls always cause problems.
–3rd Ave & 40th
Overheard by: Liz
Overweight teen girl to friend: It's like, I'm kind of hungry but like I don't feel like eating anything. (a minute later to cashier) I'll have three bacon cheeseburgers, large fries and a frosty.
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: I was starving and bought less
14-year-old girl to group of friends: I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk.
–18th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Will
Senior ad exec to junior art designer: What the fuck doesn't this guy understand? The machine literally sucks fat out of your body! So we can't show a girl with a huge ass and huge thighs in the ad! Get it the fuck together!
–49th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: agree to agree
20-something girl: I think I look fat when I don't have armpit hair.
–Canal & Mott
Thugette #1: Yo, it was mad cold yesterday, son!
Thugette #2: Yeah! The wind chill factor was like 80 degrees, man!
Thugette #1: Yo, it's like global warming, son! Think of what our kids'll be goin' through!
Thugette #2: Yo, if my kid dies, my kid dies.
Thugette #1: You're going to be a terrible mother.
–Stuyvesant High School
Susie: (singing)
Father: How old are you, Susie?
Susie: Nine.
Father: No…
Susie: Okay, I'm six.
Father: Do you want to live to be seven?
Susie: Mhmm…
Father: Then shut up.
–Post Office, 112th b/w Broadway & Amersterdam
Overheard by: Kristina
Subway beggar to the people on train : Yo, my daughter just died and I don't have any money to bury her… (recognizes someone on the train) Yo!
Man on the train: Hey! How's the wife?
Subway beggar: Oh, she good, she good. She be working too! She working on the 4 line!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Faye
Little boy: Noooo! You didn't die, I died!
Little girl: Argghhh! The crocodiles are coming!
–134th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Tigertail
Dude #1: So when they told me Heath Ledger had died I asked if he broke his back!
Dude #2: Man–that was quick.
Dude #1: I didn't really say that. I just thought of it, but I'll use it tomorrow.
Dude #2: It'll be too late then.
Dude #1: It's never too late. There's always a second chance!
–Overlook Terracce & 186th St
