Wednesday One-Liners Are Another Year Older but None the Wiser

20-something: I didn't even realize it was my birthday until I checked Facebook!

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: mtrainetiquette

Girl to friend: We should celebrate tonight–it's my half birthday in 10 days.

–Crocodile Lounge, E 14th St

Tourist: See nobody is wearing birthday scars…

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy to girl: Wait, did you really believe I was going to get you a Hello Kitty vibrator for your birthday?

–45th & 8th

Drunk girl to hobo: It's my birthday! You should be giving *me* money!

–111 & Broadway

Posted on August 24, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Birthdays, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dildos and Vibrators, Drunks, Facebook, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Homeless, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

If Paris Hilton Comes Into Red Lobster, We’ll Discuss It

Woman: Where are you from?
Tourist: We’re from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there?
Woman: No, it’s because in New York we know that you can’t bring dogs into restaurants.
Tourist: You can’t?
Woman: No, you can’t. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning.
Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y’all are ok with Paris Hilton and all.

–Red Lobster, Times Square

Overheard by: Lynne & Craig

Posted on July 23, 2021
About Celebrities, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Animals & Nature, Crime and Punishment, Etiquette, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pop Culture, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square, Tourists, We Love Our Pets

NewsFlash: Paris and Nicole’s Friendship Is Back On

Girl #1: If I was wearing a bikini right now, that’d be hot.
Girl #2: If I had a penis in me right now, that’d be hotter.

–Roseland Ballroom

Overheard by: gunstunna

Posted on June 30, 2021
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Fashion, Penis, Sex, Stupidity

Why the Fashion Police Keep Emergency Suspenders in Their Squad Cars

Asian boy: Why are you wearing a belt over your shirt?
Asian girl: I don’t know. I like the way it looks.
Asian boy: Belts are supposed to hold your pants up. It can’t hold anything up if it’s over your shirt.
Asian girl: It’s fashion, okay?! My god!
Asian boy: … I hope your pants fall down!

–Stuyvesant High

Overheard by: she was wearing a skirt

Posted on June 29, 2021
Asians, Fashion, Stuyvesant

Wednesday One-liners Lunch Hour

Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.

–1 train

Overheard by: I. J. Meyers

Posted on June 17, 2021
Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Elevators, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Junk Food & Fast Food, Latinos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Sex & Relationships, Smokers & Smoking, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

What Not to Wednesday One-Liner

Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.

–Union Pool, Brooklyn

Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…

–LIRR

Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.

–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens

Overheard by: Aloof Loner

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.

–Bloomingdale’s

Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!

–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square

Overheard by: Zarya

[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Tracy

Posted on May 25, 2021
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Fashion, Fashionistas, Girls, Goths, Guys, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queens, Queer guys, Store, Trains Not Subway, Vagina, Wishes & desires

I Get More Action With Them

Schoolgirl: I’m the only one at school that wears wild stockings.

–M79 Bus

Overheard by: Fred Weiner

Posted on May 14, 2021
Fashion, Girls, Manhattan, On the Bus

Bad Copies of Coach, Prada, Supernanny

Guy selling belts: Getcha belts here! Five dollahs! Belts! Only FIVE DOLLAHS!
Touristy man passes by with 10-year-old son.
Guy selling belts: Getcha belts to hitcha kids with! Talking to them don’t work!

–W 65th St

Posted on March 29, 2021
Fashion, Manhattan, Parents, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence

Ay Carumba!

Latina: People are always saying I look Asian. Do you see it?
Asian guy: Well, you know, Mexicans look a lot like Asians.
White girl: Yeah, they have those same narrow eyes.
Asian guy: And they’re short.

–Amy’s Bread, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on March 19, 2021
Asians, Fashion, Latinos, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, The Village

But the Mannequins Have Better Legs Than I Do!

Woman: Where is the men section?
Employee: This is the men section.
Woman: Oh, wow!

–Express For Him

Overheard by: Express

Posted on March 13, 2021
9 to 5-ers, Customers, Default, Fashion, Gender issues, Questions, Shopping, Store, Women