Small man: Looks like you got a full lunch there.
Large man: Nah, just a donut, coffee, and a sandwich.
Small man: Oh, maybe just half a lunch then. [Pause] You should eat better.
Large man: Oh, I should, huh?
–Broad St, Financial District
Small man: Looks like you got a full lunch there.
Large man: Nah, just a donut, coffee, and a sandwich.
Small man: Oh, maybe just half a lunch then. [Pause] You should eat better.
Large man: Oh, I should, huh?
–Broad St, Financial District
Yankee fan #1: What do you like better — hot dogs or hamburgers?
Yankee fan #2: I like ’em both, man.
Yankee fan #1: You can’t like ’em both! Hot dogs and hamburgers are mortal enemies, asshole. Everyone knows that!
–Yankee Stadium
Woman: Why the fuck would you put a chicken in the juice machine?
Man: It’s common sense.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Alexei Lebedev
Girl, looking at friend's cell phone: What is that?
Friend: A baby!
Girl: Oh, I thought it was chicken. It looks like a barbecued chicken.
–4 Train
Guy #1: Yo, I don’t even believe in water, alls I drink is Pepsi.
Guy #2: Yep yep, water’s for pussies.
–47th & 9th
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Teen girl: Do you like stroking my ears?
Teen guy: Do you like it when I stroke your ears?
Teen girl: That was one of the first things I noticed about you…that you were stroking my ears.
Teen guy: Yeah.
Teen girl: Have you done it to other girls before?
Teen guy: Wha?
Teen girl: I guess my boobs are really small, and you need something to grab on to.
Teen guy: …Do you ever cook meat?
Teen girl: This one time the mother of the kids I nanny made me make them chicken nuggets. But she left raw chicken out on the corner, and I had to make them in the bag with the Shake N’ bag, and I literally called my mother, like, sobbing, while I was shaking.
Teen guy: Whoa. That’s sucks that she made you, like, compromise your, like…Yeah…Yo…
–A train
Overheard by: subversively chic
50-something woman: Do you have baked goods?
Girl with empty wicker basket: Excuse me?
50-something woman: Baked goods. Where are you going with them?
Girl with empty wicker basket (slowly looking into basket and then back at woman): To grandmother's house.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Little Red Riding Ho
Black hobo to rush-hour crowd: So, did ya' hear now Obama's president they gonna tear down the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, they gonna put up a new statue–one o' Aunt Jemima!"
–Shuttle Train GCT
Overheard by: Mrs. Butterworth
Hobo: Hey, kids! I wish I was a kid again. Then I'd have a hundred million dollars!
–Henry St, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Jesse
Hobo to clerk: Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of the Gaza Strip.
–Deli, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: LP
Hobo to girl with boxing gloves attached to her backpack: Hi, there! Give a little money to help the homeless? (silence) I'll take anything but a punch in the face!
–Astor & Lafayette
Overheard by: Andi C.
Shouting hobo: The family that scratches their butts together has smelly fingers!
–34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Kramer
Hobo crossing street and pushing shopping cart: Hi ho Silver!
–23rd St & Park Ave
Wardrobe consultant chick: Hey Jorge*, el foodo is here! Wait a minute, what’s the word again?
–Men’s Wearhouse, 34th & 5th
Overheard by: erak
Tourist woman on cell: That’s not even the right thing to say to somebody in a fight. A "punk" is from the 50s. It’s like a tough guy or a street guy.
–56th & 5th
Woman on cell: You know what pull my finger means? Well you better start pulling your finger. Pull it 24/7.
–12th & 1st
Guy: Korean words don’t end in vowels, you fuckhead. Except for "Korea"… and "Hyundai".
–Chelsea Market
Yuppie dad lecturing two school-age sons: Last week, this girl in my class said that something just sucked and I told her, "You know, when you’re in English class, vocabulary is cool, and it’s better to say that something is disappointing instead of saying that it sucks."
–Tip-Top Shoes, W 72nd St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Man on cell: Do you know what trifling means?? No! It does NOT mean truffle-making!
–17th & 6th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Guy, passing "La Bagel Delight": That means "The Bagel Delight" in
French!
–7th Ave, Park Slope
