Wednesday One-Liners Make Digital Records Of Their Humiliation

Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Alice

Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists!

–44th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: would never buy that shit

NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you!

–8th & Broadway

Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously)

–Union Square

Overheard by: Glad I had a map

Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists.

–51 & Lexington

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on February 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Directions, Families, Friends, Girls, Insults, Knock-Offs, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Only in New York, Punks, Smegma, Stoners, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

They're Even Friends with It on Facebook!

Columbia girl: I mean, they're such bad friends. They basically support her being anorexic!
Friend: That's such an understatement. They encourage the anorexia! They're fucking fans of anorexia!

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: Fellow Supporter

Posted on February 7, 2009
Columbia University, Friends, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Students, Weirdness

You Know What I Do with My Car? I Drive My Car!

Woman on stoop, emphatically: Yo, that's what I do with my house! I stay in my house!
Friend: Dat's right…

–Hoffman St & E 187th St

Posted on February 6, 2009
Friends, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Home, Sweet Home, Stupidity, Women

Sales– It's Not Delivery, It's Degrading

T-shirt seller for Hair: Buy a t-shirt or a sweatshirt! The actors may be naked, but you don't have to be!
T-shirt seller friend: You need to work on your delivery.
T-shirt seller: Yeah, I know.

–Shakespeare in the Park

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on January 29, 2009
Clothing, Friends, Nudity, Parks, Theater & Dance, Vendors & Street Performers

Peanut, Pinenut, Ground Nut, Wednesday One-Liner Nut…

Ghetto girl: Hmm, I know what a peanut is, but what a walnut is?

–147th & Broadway

Man on cell: It's quite possible that my left nut is bigger than my right nut.

–82nd & Broadway

Girlfriend to boyfriend: So that's why Yoda sounds like busting a nut!

–Ave A & 6th St

Guy to friend: I've been bitten in the nuts by two different Scottish Terriers.

–7th Ave b/w 24th & 25th

Overheard by: Carmen

Guy on cell: I'm just like an anorexic. Every time they look in the mirror, they think "I'm not skinny enough," but I look in the mirror and think "these pants aren't tight enough," even though everyone tells me they can see my nuts.

–L Train

Posted on January 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Balls, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Height, Man's Best Friend, Men, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Street, Trees and plants, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Go with the Flow

Woman to friend: Childbirth is just really bad menstrual cramps, that's all!

–Varick St

Overheard by: Cool Breeze

Woman to toddler: Put the rest of the money back in the tampon box.

–14th St Subway Station

Overheard by: alex

Girl crossing street to friend: And then I had my period for a month!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Wondering what kind of birth control she's on

30-something woman on cell: He said he didn't care, and pulled the tampon out of me.

–Bedford Ave & N 8th St

Overheard by: tamphex twin

Girl to guy: I thought I smelled alcohol, but it was just my menstruation.

–N Train

Posted on January 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Menstruation, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sensory Experiences, Soho, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Could You Use “Wednesday One-Liners” in a Sentence?

Girl to friend: I know, man! I was like, "Expelliarmus!"

–116th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Bahnahd

College guy to his friends: If you use the word "status quo" in a paper, you're guaranteed to get at least an A.

–Cental Park

Overheard by: dizzle

Smug dude: He told me he needed a dictionary to have a conversation with me. I mean, just because instead of saying…um…like…well, instead of a short word…I use a big one.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Ivory Girl

Old man to another: What's that word mean, "egotistical"? You blindsided me with that word! Egotistical!

–Reading Room, Bryant Park

Overheard by: Jessie

Woman on cell: You never heard of tilapia? You got to get out of the hood!

–St. John's & Classon

Overheard by: Mollie

Posted on January 28, 2009
Animals & Nature, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Bryant Park, Central Park, Film, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Height, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, School and studying, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Words

Which Is Also the Title Of the Self-Help Book I'm Writing for Pubescent Girls

Girl (calmly): She's been having mood swings lately.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (calmly): Mood swings.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (angry): Mood swings, you ass bag!

–E Train

Overheard by: Jillian

Posted on January 26, 2009
Anger Management, Friends, Girls, Insults, On the Subway, Psychology

Well, Before the Entrance Exam and the Interview, Yeah

Queer friend to gangsta, enthusiastically: So, lemme ask you a question! How did you decide you wanted to go through with getting initiated and everything?
Gangsta: What?
Queer friend: Like, how did you decide you wanted to join?
(gangsta whispers into friends ear, cautiously)
Queer friend, loudly: So, that's it? You just walk up to them and say, “hey! I'd like to join the bloods”?

–A Train

Posted on January 24, 2009
Blood & bleeding, Friends, Gangstas, On the Subway, Queers, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Wednesday Hotliners

Fat girl at bar: Be hot, be educated, bend me over. That's all I want.

–Kenny's Castaways

Overheard by: Richard

Conductor (bitchily): Ladies and gentlemen, if you think the car you are in is too hot, feel free to get up and move!

–NJ Transit, Penn Station

Teenage girl to friend: Yeah, right, like, "Hi, I took the school bus with you in elementary school. Now you're really hot." (both laugh)

–Hunter College High School

Overheard by: Rosebud

Man on phone: Hey man, she was hot. But listen, don't tell her I have a girlfriend, okay?

–5th Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: i'm going to break it to her gently

Teenage girl on cell: Yes, I know you're not supposed to take pills from people you don't know, but he was so hot! And then I think I had sex with him.

–Chinatown Bus Station

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on January 21, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Chinatown, Conductors, Drugs, Education, Elementary & Middle School, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Heat, Horny, Hunter, Infidelity, Kids, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Passengers, Penn Station, Questions, Sex, Teens, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires