Effeminate bisexual man: I'm going to make you come so many times… The thing is, I have self-esteem problems, and…
Female friend: Well, then you should talk to a therapist about that, instead of preying on unsuspecting girls.
–LIRR
Effeminate bisexual man: I'm going to make you come so many times… The thing is, I have self-esteem problems, and…
Female friend: Well, then you should talk to a therapist about that, instead of preying on unsuspecting girls.
–LIRR
Girl holding Cosmopolitan magazine, showing page to friend: Whoa! Read number eleven!
Friend: Will you guys please shut up?
Friend reading magazine: Oh, I've done that.
Girl with magazine: Wait…what's a “come-hither motion”?
Other friend, looking up at ceiling: Please kill me now.
–E Train
Overheard by: AES
Girl sleeping in art class: Tony the Tiger, I wish you were real.
–LaGuardia Arts
Thug to friend: Yo, man, Tourette's is real! They've got it on MTV and everything!
–LIRR
Ditzy-sounding chick on cell: Should I buy some heart-shaped sunglasses? (pause) Why not? (pause) Should I buy some sunglasses that look like real glasses to make me look smart? (pause) Shut the hell up!
–St. Mark's Place
Guy at party: So then I said, "it takes a real man to take a nine inch cock in the ass!"
–13th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: kdub
Young woman, yelling at a bus stop ad for Bret Michael's New Rock of Love: Just stop it! You're not even a real person!
–42nd b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Couldn't agree more
Train conductor: East Broadway, welcome to Manhattan. Especially you, tourists, you put my wife on the table–I mean, uh…my food.
–F Train
Overheard by: penelope
Petite 30-something washing clothes: Oh, no! His wife's gonna be there. I gotta get some razor blades.
–Laundry Mat, Broadway & Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Matt
Middle aged suit to another: So the main problem my girlfriend and I have is that I really get along with my wife.
–A Train
Overheard by: Suzi
Thug to friend: There's just one thing I want people to say about my wife. Not that she's pretty, or that she's nice. I want them to say, "man, that nigga's wife's got a fat ass!"
–Grand Concourse
Cop to crowd: I suggest you use the other crosswalk, it's less congested. Stay here, risk your life…over there, save your wife!
–Radio City Music Hall
Man on cell: You don't love your wife?! (pause) Fuck you!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Amina
Smoking girl: I dreamed I was a mermaid. Then I woke up, and I was a mermaid.
Girl's friend: But you can't swim!
–H&M, Penn Station
Guy to friend: Hey, did you notice that after every time you got on this (points to self) you end up with a boyfriend?
Girl: What? Oh man, you're right! It's like you have a magic pee-pee!
Guy: Yeah.
–Penn Station
Heavy-set girl: It's just so hard to lose weight, you know.
Friend: What? (pause) I'm sorry, I was lost in your chins.
–34th St
50-something suit on cell: So, are you coming or do you have to zombie-proof the apartment again?
–Downtown 6 Train
Youngish guy all in black: Vampires are so 90s. (female companion nods emphatically)
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emily
Guy yelling to people dressed as zombies: Are there any fine zombies there that want to suck my dick?
–Union Square
Girl in Santa costume: Where are my fucking elves?!
–LaGuardia High School
Teen girl to friend: Well there are so many leprechauns at that school anyway, what do you really expect?
–Xavier High School
Overheard by: isa
Loud obnoxious girl in movie theater: Oh yeah, I confuse a billion and a million all the time.
–Union Square Movie Theatre
College student to friend: Yo, I know doctors that are making mad money but are still behind because of their student loans! One of them told me that I should go to a CUNY or SUNY for my undergrad, then spend the big bucks at a private college for my grad. Yo, it costs $200,000 to go to school, that's like half a million dollars!
–E Train
Overheard by: hopefully he won't be measuring doses
Creepy bald tattooed guy: 30% of communication is verbal. (creepy lady nods) And that means that the other 60% is done with our bodies…I've done the research it's incredible.
–Spring St & Greene St
Overheard by: Seth
Girl on phone: Yeah, so everyone else had like 3, or 5, and I had 75.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jenn
Blonde teen on cell: 12 is not a baker's dozen, it's only a dozen. A baker's dozen is like 144. I've only slept with twelve guys, okay? Get off my back!
–Amsterdam Ave b/w 90th & 91st
Random guy to everyone nearby: Yes, you are sexier than Conor Oberst–all of you.
–McCarren Park
Overheard by: Chris K
Beer guy: I got sexy beer for sexy people! Beer so cold it talks back to you! If you don't drink beer, you die!
–Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Damn, I'd better by a beer…
Little boy in preppy school uniform to Asian teenage girl: Mmmmmmm…I like sexy girls. I like them a loooot. (takes out imaginary cell phone) Mmmm, mmhmm…I'd like that. Ohhh.
–M1 Bus
Hobo to guy carrying mirror: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the sssssexiest of 'em all?
–13th & 5th
Freshman to group of friends: Yo, when Jack* first got his hair cut it looked mad weird, but now it looks mad sexy, no homo. It kind of looks like the Jonas Brothers.
–Bard High School Early College
Columbia girl: She was sexy, but she shouldn't have done that. That's so Adam Smith.
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
