Wednesday One-Liners –Unclean! Unclean!

Eight-year-old boy to another: You usta play dirty house with her!

–E 9th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Visibly annoyed ghetto-fab young lady, while loudly cracking her gum: They too many nationalities on this bus and most of them don’t be clean.

–57th St Bus

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Chick, looking at rat sipping from puddle: Eeeww, how can he drink that? It’s so dirty!

–6 Platform, Grand Central

Guy on escalator, to friend: … Dirty sandwich…

–E Train

Overheard by: M_C

Male student: Either you’re a dirty, stinking hippie, or you’re pretentious.

–Bard High School Early College Library

Thuggish hobo: Please! Somebody talk dirty to me!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Boys, Cleanliness, Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Insults, Kids, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Sexuality, Students, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park

Wednesday One-Liners Are for Keeping Airports in

Girl to friends, while walking past bar: Oh, this is the place I got drunk at, then woke up in Queens.

–40th & 7th

Overheard by: Jesse

Drunk Italian guy, entering uptown NRW station: Uptown and Queens? That’s where all the pussy is!

–23rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Zarek

Middle-aged black woman on phone: I can see all Queens from up in here, nigga. Aw, damn, I can see that Rhode Island shit now.

–Roosevelt Island Tram

Overheard by: Jack Fleming

20-Something hipster girl on cell: Why do you have to get off the phone? You’re eating? Again? You big fat ass… God, I hate Queens.

–Queens Bridge

Overheard by: SL

Conductor over loudspeaker: You are now on the N train running to Queens… Unlike yesterday when I was in Queens running the train on all of youse. Enjoy.

–N Train

Overheard by: Kevin

Voice from dressing room stall: I am at a Sears in Queens. S. O. S.

–Sears, Rego Park, Queens

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Italians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Queens, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Store, Subway conductors, Women

Dr. Frankenstein Spoiled His Daughter Badly

Drunk girl #1: We’re going to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah we’re going to the Taj Lounge! [To random guy.] Get your hot ass to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #1: Leave your face here!

–21st St

Posted on May 27, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Insults, Leisure, Offers and requests, Sexuality

Gay Politicians?

20-something JAP, checking out 20-something guy walking past: Hey, how are you?
20-something guy waves: Married…
JAP’s friend: Ew, who gets married?

–21st & Van Alst

Overheard by: Kire

Posted on May 26, 2008
Default, Friends, Guys, JAPs, Marriage, Pick-up Lines, Questions

Like the Fingers on a Baseball Glove

Girl #1: That guy over there is so attractive… And he has a huge penis. I can tell from his fingers.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, you can totally tell what a guy’s penis would look like based on their fingers. That’s how I knew it hurt when you lost your virginity before you even told me…I saw his fingers.

–1 Train

Posted on May 24, 2008
Beauty, Body Parts, Default, Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Penis, Physical appearance, Sexuality, Virginity, Weirdness

We Must Bring This Architectural Concept Home to Tennessee

Southern tourist, looking at opposite platform: Oooh, that’s a pretty wall.
Friend: Yeah.
Southern tourist: [Turns around.] There’s one on this side, too!

–N Train

Overheard by: Raye

Posted on May 23, 2008
Compliments, Default, Friends, Southerners, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Tourism

Girls Will Analyze Two-Word Conversations Like Jesuit Theologians

Girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you? Alex called me yesterday! And it wasn’t 6 am for once, it was 3 pm!
Girl #2: That’s great!
Girl #1: I know. He was like [low voice] “heeeeeeey” and I was like [high voice] “heeeeey!” and it was amazing. Well, not really. But it was so great.

–Starbucks, Washington Square

Posted on May 23, 2008
Default, Friends, Girls, Happiness, Relationships, Starbucks, Time, Washington Square Park

Your Editors Suggest You Read Overheard in New York With a Friend

Hipster: Why are you playing Tetris when you have me to talk to?
Friend, still playing: Shhhh.
Hipster: [Closes friend’s phone.]Friend, looking up: Things like that break up friendships.

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: Jer

Posted on May 22, 2008
Cell Phone, Default, Etiquette, Friends, Friendship, Hipsters, Questions, Video Games

It’s the Best AA Meeting in Midtown

Alleged heterosexual Male #1: I ended up doing a body shot of tequila off of Peter…
Alleged heterosexual Male #2: That’s not the point.

–57th St

Posted on May 22, 2008
Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Sexuality

Let’s Just Say It Was Truly a “Wonder Emporium”

Dumb girl: Oh my god! I just can’t concentrate …I need a bag of chips in order to listen to you.
Bimbette: Except I just had sex in the movie theater.
Dumb girl: Really!? What did you watch?

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Este

Posted on May 22, 2008
Bimbettes, Default, Friends, Girls, Hunter, Movies, Questions, Sex, Stupidity, Wishes & desires

Friends