Teenage boy to friend: So when I was walking by the store I saw this guy being dragged out in handcuffs.
Friend: Shit, why didn't you call the cops or something?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: areyouserious?
Teenage boy to friend: So when I was walking by the store I saw this guy being dragged out in handcuffs.
Friend: Shit, why didn't you call the cops or something?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: areyouserious?
Ice queen: She a ho. She be, like, talkin’ to mad guys and whatever, and she had sex with all six of those brothers.
Sensible girl, after long pause: Who are you to be calling anyone a ho?
–A train, Jay St
Guy: Oh look, they have buffalo burgers! I love buffalo burgers.
Girl: It’s just chicken.
Guy: No, not Buffalo style. It just says buffalo.
Girl: Didn’t you see that episode of Nick & Jessica? She made the same mistake. It’s just chicken. There are no more buffalo anymore, they’re extinct.
–Evergreen, West 47th Street
Guy #1: So, I was at this thing last night playing guitar or whatever, and my friend Ashley* is eating out this fat guy’s asshole…
Guy #2: What?!
Guy #1: Yeah, seriously.
–Dorm elevator, Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: OnlyinNY
Asian chick: She has, like, an Asian face on a Brazilian body.
Friend: Ew!
Asian chick: Yeah, I know. Weird. But she's only nine, so…
–Broadway & W 38th
Overheard by: English bloke
Girl: All I know in Spanish is how to say “give it to me hard”.
Boy: But that’s all that matters.
–Apple Store, Prince Street
Woman #1: I was dreaming that I was dreaming that I was awake but wanted to take a nap. So I did and I started dreaming. Then I woke up… but I was still asleep!
Woman #2: Wow.
–13th & University
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Guy #1: What about fusion? Do you like fusion?
Guy #2: No, I want the food to taste like it’s supposed to.
Guy #1: So there is something you won’t eat.
Guy #2: Or Mexican, I won’t eat Mexican.
–Penn Plaza elevator
Girl: Yo, my neighborhood is so ghetto.
Guy: What? It isn’t ghetto. You’ve got a doormat.
–1 train
Guy, showing friend family photos: This is me and my brother.
Friend: It's just the two of you? No sister?
Guy: Nah, man! If I had a sister, I'd smack her!
–1 Train
Overheard by: please don't smack me
