Hot Wednesday-on-Wednesday One-Liners

Random guy, singing loudly: Leeeesbian seagull!

–South Street Sea Port

Overheard by: Ger-Man in New York

Thug: Shit! I have to get my teacher a present. Its so hard. She’s like butch… You know what I’m saying? Shes got short hair and don’t wear earrings -like that chick [points to a woman who can obviously hear the conversation and looks affronted.] Yeah lady, you like the pussy!

–F Train

Drunk girl: You wanna know why I’m a lesbian? When I was crawling out of my mothers vagina I tasted that shit. And that shit was good. I just had to keep going back for more.

–Odessa’s, Ave A

Overheard by: Dannia Alfonso

Hardcore lesbian tourist #1 to hardcore lesbian tourist #2: Hey! Beaver Street! Let’s eat down there.

–Beaver St , Hanover Square

Overheard by: WallStGuy

Black teen punk girl, arguing with boyfriend: No, I’m gonna go become a lesbian now. Big. Huge. Les. Bo.

–V Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Buff guy: But now they’ll know I’m a lesbian.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 16, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Black People, Drunks, Family Ties, Fears, Gays and Lesbians, Gifts, Girls, Guys, Lesbians, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Punks, Questions, Singing, Teens, The Village, Threats, Thugs, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Words

I’ve Drawn Up Some Diagrams -Could You Check Them for Accuracy?

Queer: I want to have sex with a girl.
Girl, laughing: Any particular girl? Or just any girl?
Queer: Any girl. I’ve been watching a lot of straight porn and it seems interesting.

–NYU

Posted on April 11, 2008
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, NYU, Porn, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners for the Polyglots

Frustrated bouncer: You don’t speak Spanish, you don’t speak Chinese, what the fuck do you speak?

–Broome Street, Chinatown

Woman, talking to friends: And I love how his "Dominican" wife has an Irish accent.

–109th & Broadway

Overheard by: Cassandra

Crazy guy running: The British are coming! The British are coming!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Woman talking to friend: So this Chinese guy told me he was speaking Vietnamese. I never knew that Vietnam was in china! I felt so ignorant after that.

–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave

30-something woman to her female friend: I didn’t know he was gay. I just thought he was French.

–E 34th St

Foreign woman, after the entire audience has been screaming "Cunt! Cunt!" at the end of "Reclaiming Cunt" during "The Vagina Monologues": I think my English is improving!

–New School

Posted on April 9, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bouncers, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Default, Fears, Foreigners, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Global Geography, Guys, Happiness, Insults, Language Barrier, Languages, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, New School, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women, Words

What? Isn’t It Inevitable?

Girl #1: I don’t understand why he was so upset. It’s not like I was being insensitive or anything.
Girl #2: Are you serious? You asked him if he had aids!
Girl #1: Yea, but only because he said he was gay!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Timmy Lee

Posted on April 7, 2008
AIDS, Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Idiots, Insults, Penn Station, Questions, Stupidity

Will She Do an Inverted 4-G Dive at 2 Meters?

Queer #1: That guy’s kinda cute.
Queer #2: Dude, that’s a dyke…there’s a whole contingent of dykes that strive for the Tom-Cruise-from-Top-Gun look.

–10th St & Ave A

Overheard by: paulie

Posted on April 5, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Movies, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Street, Union Square and East Village

And Afterwards, He Even Said It Was “Fabulous”

Girl: So you kept sleeping with him after he told you?
Friend: Yeah. I mean, he couldn’t have been that gay… We were having sex!

–Cafe Lafayette, Brooklyn

Posted on April 4, 2008
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex

Juan Valdez: Look, I’m Only Like 5’10”, but I’ll Bring the Mule.

Male Customer: I’ll take a tall Colombian.
Male Barista: Does he have to be cute?

–Starbucks, Park Row

Overheard by: Tickled Pink

Posted on April 1, 2008
Baristas, Customers, Default, Drinks, Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Men, Offers and requests, Questions, Starbucks, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The Grateful Ones Are Best

Ghetto man, sticking his head into the car and yelling to no one in particular: Are you single? [Nobody replies.] Are you single?!
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I’m single.
[he walks over to her.]
Ghetto girl: My husband left me. After five years he just left. Said “I love Frank.”
Ghetto man, announcing to the rest of the car: Did you hear that? This woman’s husband left her for another man! [to the woman]: What’s your phone number? [She gives out digits]

–F train

Overheard by: and she wonders why…

Posted on March 31, 2008
Breaking Up, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Marriage, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Thugs

Even Straight Guys Feel This Way

Guy #1: He came up and said, ‘Hey, big boy, wanna ring my bell?’
Guy #2: And…?
Guy #1: And of course I said I didn’t! But… it was nice being asked.

–The Shake Shack, Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Impatiently Waiting in Line for her Peanut Butter

Posted on March 30, 2008
Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Madison Square Garden, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality

The “Bun” Hairstyle Is Deconstructed at Last

Bimbette #1: Dykes just don’t look good with faux-hawks.
Bimbette #2: Well, I guess it gives them something else to sit on… depending on how much gel they use.

–F train

Overheard by: Philip

Posted on March 24, 2008
Beauty, Bimbettes, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Hair, Insults, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Sexuality

Gays and Lesbians