Drunk girl at a party #1 (in a high-pitched “baby Jesus” voice): I want frankincense now! I want frankincense and myrrh right now! Why mama put me in the hay? I wanna bed! Why my momma can't have no house! I want frankincense!
Drunk girl at a party #2: The Catholic church is going to kick you in the face!
–Astoria
Girl: I can't take the $100,000.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Cause being poor is a part of who I am.
–Columbia Medical Center
Overheard by: Philips Loh
Blonde in stilettos: My boss told me that she slept with Mick Jagger.
Blonde in pumps: Recently?
Blonde in stilettos: No, back when he was beautiful.
Blonde in pumps: He was beautiful?
Blonde in stilettos: In the sixties.
Blonde in pumps: That's so sad.
–Marquee's
Chick: You rotate girlfriends like handkerchiefs.
Dude: If they are confused bitches who like making me uncomfortable.
–Roebling Tea Room, Williamsburg
Girl in bathroom #1: God, I look horrible today. This is what Madonna must look like after playing some baseball with a rod. (pause) if you know what I mean…
Girl in bathroom #2: Are you really that dumb? Madonna is a singer, not a baseball player…everyone knows that!
–Macy's
Overheard by: Home run for ester!
Daughter: Their floor is cracked concrete, they can't even sit up in their beds, they only have one window…
Mother: So they can't even see where the rats are?
–Q Train
Boy: Let's go sit down.
Girl, pointing to statues: Let's go see what those people are about.
–Christopher Park
Girl #1: Are you pregnant? Your belly looks big…
Girl #2: No, I just haven't shat for three days.
–4 Train
Girl #1: So then he asked if I would send her a birthday card.
Girl #2: Oh my god, seriously? Why would he want you to send his mom a birthday card?
Girl #1: I know! It's not like she sent me one on my birthday.
Girl #2: Slut.
–Amtrak, Grand Central
Overheard by: RG
Excited man on cell: Hey! Did you hear who died? Amanda's pretend husband died!
–N Train
Overheard by: Tophs
20-something woman to friend: Well, I wanna kill her and she wants to kill me, 'cause I took her husband.
–R Train
Overheard by: Tara
20-something hipster girl: I am a nihilist! Watch me die.
–Waverly & Mercer
Asian guy to white girl: All children are born evil. If they had the strength of an adult during childhood, they would kill someone just to get a lollipop.
–Queens College
Woman on cell: Okay! I get it. She's not a good person. Just kill her.
–Canal St & Laffaette St
Overheard by: Kay
Conductor: You're all gonna die! I'm your worst nightmare! Ahahahaha!
–C Train
Overheard by: P-Diddy
