Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

Posted on August 6, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Drinking & Drunk People, For Sale, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Politics, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Williamsburg

Readers: Give Her a Clever Comeback

Girl #1: Ohmigosh, I just bought scratch ‘n sniff underwear! With an apple on it!
Girl #2: Why the hell would you want to scratch your ass and then sniff it?

–66th & Broadway

Posted on August 5, 2018
Ass, Bimbettes, Clothing, Girls, Scents of the City, Shopping, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

Posted on July 22, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Families, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insects, Insults, Kids, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Tattoos, The Village, Times Square, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers, Wishes & desires

They Should Start Selling Souvenir Bandanas

Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!

–1st & York

Overheard by: Not quite as excited

Posted on July 18, 2018
Compliments, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Questions, The Village, Tourists

One-Liners Are All Wednesday Can Afford

11-year-old girl: Yo mamma's broke cuz she spend all her money on rhinestones and cigarttes!

–Riverside Branch Library

Overheard by: always listening

Polite lady: Go straight down that way and cut through the projects–don't worry, they're mixed income–and you'll see it when you come out on A.

–1st Ave & 5th St.

Overheard by: Mrqs

Old lady waiting for the bathroom: How long do people stay in toilets? Jesus! It's a public toilet! There are all these people from the streets that come in, and they always pee on the floor. Well, that's what happens when you're poor.

–NY Public Library

Overheard by: Avery

Homegirl to friend: So she was like "oh, my name's Diamond. And this is my sister, her name's Ruby. Our daddy named us after stuff he can't afford." I was like, shit, if that was the case, my daddy woulda call us "lights" and "gas."

–Prospect Park

Nerdish teen: What the hell was a warlock doing in a dungeon when he had no money?

–C Train

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on July 17, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Directions, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Kids, Library, Money & Class, Names, Nerds, Old People, On the Subway, Parks, Pee, Questions, Smoking, Teens, The Village, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Clone-Boy Is Filled With Jealous Rage

Guy hitting on girl: So where are you from?
Disinterested girl: New York.
Guy hitting on girl: No, where are you originally from?
Disinterested girl: My parents.

–East Village Bar

Posted on July 16, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Girls, Guys, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Union Square and East Village

If We're Not, We're Going to Be After This.

Girl #1: What's your name?
Girl #2: Dana.
Girl #1: Okay. Wait, are we friends?
Girl #2: Yeah! On Facebook!

–1 Train

Posted on July 13, 2018
Facebook, Friendship, Girls, Names, On the Subway, Questions

Tweedledum and Tweedleretarded

Girl #1: That’s a really nice tweed.
Girl #2: Oh, thanks. Wow.
Girl #1: Seriously, it’s amazing.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was really lucky.

–30th & 5th

Posted on July 12, 2018
Fashion, Girls, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Topics

Wednesday One-Liners Look Terrible in Neon Orange

20-something woman to man: You've never been arrested? I have never met anyone that has not been arrested!

–Le Charlot Restaurant, Upper East Side

Angry guy on cell: If you ever send e-mail to my family again, I will wait outside your apartment door! (pause) I got arrested! I spent Thanksgiving in jail!

–11th & University

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Man in US Correctional Services jacket to another looking around hectically in a large crowd: Make sure we don't lose him!

–Penn Station

Chubby well-dressed black dude to skinny white geeky friends: Time in prison can be good for the soul!

–F Train

Overheard by: MissMae

Guy on cell: Yeah man, she's like a young girl, and she's driving me nuts. It's like always a fight with her. I mean, she's so young, yo… But yeah, I mean, she's a sweetheart. I mean, she's a good girl. So young. Like, we've been together for 7 months and that ain't nothing to me, but to her it's a big deal. And I'm all like, shit, I've been in jail for longer than 7 months, you know, so I don't know what she's bitching about. I don't need her to make me miserable. I can make myself miserable.

–Metro-North Train

Overheard by: Meaghan

Fran Drescher sound-alike: What's wrong with you? Don't applaud, I'm going to jail!

–Eight Mile Creek, Mullberry Street

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Posted on July 9, 2018
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Cops, Coworkers, Crime and Punishment, Fat People, Girls, Guys, Holidays, Little Italy, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, Prison, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Upper East Side, Women

Girls