Guy: You ever try Kopi Luwak?
Girl: No, who is he?
Guy: It’s not a he, it’s the world’s most expensive coffee.
Girl: That’s not the coffee that’s made from cat shit, is it?
Guy: It’s not made from cat shit.
Girl: They pick the beans out of the cat shit.
Guy: Sort of.
Girl: So that posers like you can drink it.
Guy: You don’t understand the concept of gourmet.
Girl: Maybe not, but I understand the concept of eating shit.
–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl: I gotta buy a new hair dryer.
Guy: You just got one like two weeks ago!
Girl: Yeah, I know, but I don't like it. I mean, it dries my hair, but not the way I like.
Guy: (sighs)
–E 84th St
Overheard by: Lisa Freestone
Hipster Girl #1: So you guys should come. Oh! You should bring your boyfriend, I haven’t met him yet.
Hipster Girl #2: I wish I could but it’s on Wednesday night, right? He’s really into fashion, that’s when he watches Project Runway.
[Hipster Girl #1 stares blankly at Hipster Girl #2 for a few moments.]Hipster Girl #1: Oh.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hobojane
Brunette: I really need to have sex.
Blonde: Well you better do it soon because you’re getting your period on Wednesday.
[long pause.]Brunette: We spend too much time together.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky
Girl #1: I want to go home with that guy. Do you have a razor?
Girl #2: No, sorry, why?
Girl #1: My coochie looks like a dead raccoon.
–Fat Baby Club, Lower East Side
Hot girl: I feel really really bad.
Sarcastic gay friend: Your conscience about sleeping with married guys catching up to you?
Hot girl: No, it's that stupid Mexican food you made me eat. I wanna puke.
–6 Train
Overheard by: In Shock
Good looking brunette: Yeah, then we talked about physics.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh, really? Why?
Good looking brunette: Not sure, but I remember it turned me on.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh…
(awkward silence)
Hot guy pal: (nods head)
Good looking brunette: What? I really like physics! Its the math… I really like math.
–Park Ave
Overheard by: angela
Chubby girl #1: See the girl in this James Bond poster? If my face got a little skinnier, that haircut would look hot on me.
Chubby girl #2: I'm not sure your face will ever be that skinny again…
–E Train
Girl talking casually to friend: So I’ve been listening to Michael Jackson all morning, and as I was passing the guy who sits next to me I started singing “Don’t stop till you get it up”.
Friend: Ummm. [Pauses.] But the lyrics are “Don’t stop till you get enough”.
–38th & Broadway
Overheard by: Miss. Me
Girl #2: You’re so right! She does kind of look like a Tyrannosaur!
Girl #1: Oh my god, you’re so mean.
Girl #2: What? You said it first.
Girl #1: I said: “She kind of looks like a tennis player.”
Girl #2: Um, oh. Oops.
–1 Train
Overheard by: ouch.
Headline by: James
Runners-Up:
· “Either Way, She Makes Quite a Racket” – DotTim
· “I Always Get Lesbians and Giant Man-Eating Lizards Confused.” – L.J.
· “If It’s Martina Navratilova, They’re Both Right.” – Brady
· “It’s the Way She Devoured the Competition” – Markle9
· “Serenasaur or Venusaur?” – Matt
· “With the Racket and the Tiny Arms, It Could Really Go Either Way.” – Rosie
