Student #1: Can you drink rubbing alcohol?
Teacher: No. If you do, you will die.
Student #2: Unless you’re Irish.
–Classroom, Edward R. Murrow Highschool, Brooklyn
Overheard by: anonymous
Student #1: Can you drink rubbing alcohol?
Teacher: No. If you do, you will die.
Student #2: Unless you’re Irish.
–Classroom, Edward R. Murrow Highschool, Brooklyn
Overheard by: anonymous
Stuy Girl: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Stuy Guy: Well, I really want to just own some cows in Spain.
Stuy girl: Um, and do what with them?
Stuy Guy: Uh, milk them…I guess.
Stuy Girl: That’s not very realistic.
Stuy Guy: Yeah, I was thinking more in terms of like, if I didn’t have to survive…
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: jules
Pretentious hipster: So where are you ethnically from?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Well, I know that, but are you from Bangladesh, Pakistan, or India?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Ohhh, you’re Native American.
Indian girl: I’ll take that drink now.
–Welcome to the Johnsons Bar, Lower East Side
Overheard by: blondie
Frustrated bouncer: You don’t speak Spanish, you don’t speak Chinese, what the fuck do you speak?
–Broome Street, Chinatown
Woman, talking to friends: And I love how his "Dominican" wife has an Irish accent.
–109th & Broadway
Overheard by: Cassandra
Crazy guy running: The British are coming! The British are coming!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Woman talking to friend: So this Chinese guy told me he was speaking Vietnamese. I never knew that Vietnam was in china! I felt so ignorant after that.
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
30-something woman to her female friend: I didn’t know he was gay. I just thought he was French.
–E 34th St
Foreign woman, after the entire audience has been screaming "Cunt! Cunt!" at the end of "Reclaiming Cunt" during "The Vagina Monologues": I think my English is improving!
–New School
Skinny girl #1: … And these guys always want to do blow with me, like all the time, it’s so weird!
Skinny girl #2: Awww, no one ever wants to do blow with me.
Skinny girl #1, whispering loudly: That’s because your ass is the size of Russia.
–Tiffany & Co.
Overheard by: EDW
Cop: There are no downtown express trains! I repeat, there are no downtown express trains. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the President of the United States!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Trixie
Suit on cell: The problem with Canada is that it’s not the U.S.
–129th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Koen
Black guy on cell: Yeah, what is Condoleezza Rice, anyway? I think she’s Puerto Rican or Dominican. She’s definitely not American.
–Barnes & Noble, W 66th St
Black guy to white friend eating lunch: Ah, yes, the American dream: doing nothing while eating a sandwich.
–Stuyvesant High
Hobo: Thirty-two-gallon garbage can — who wants this beautiful 32-gallon garbage can? Made right here in the US-of-A! Come on, people! It’s an American product at Mexican prices. Now, what’s my first bid?
–4th Ave & Atlantic
Overheard by: Mike N
Large black lady on cell: I know, right? Osama bin Laden is like the Uncle Sam of America!
–CVS Pharmacy
Teacher #1: I heard on the radio that the Chinese people are the ones that make the pasta. You know, the noodles.
Teacher #2: I did the research and it is pretty cheap to go to Italy. I wanna go.
–Elevator, 55 Broad St
Overheard by: Rob M
Female attorney: Bush said that America will rebuild Lennon. Why should we? We didn’t bomb them. We have enough problems of our own to worry about. Bush is nuts!
Male attorney: Lennon’s been dead for over 25 years.
–Outside Civil Court, Queens
Overheard by: Big Larry
Filipino girl #1: So, he’s from Bangladesh, right?
White guy: Really? Are you sure? ‘Cause he looks white…
Filipino girl #2: Yeah, but he’s really Filipino. Bangladesh is in Asia, right?
Filipino girl #1: Yeah, but not our part, which is why he doesn’t look completely white like me.
–1 train
Tween boy, pointing at bumper sticker: Cool, Venezuela.
Guy unloading car: No, it says ‘Villanova.’
Tween: What’s that?
Guy: It’s a college.
Tween: Oh. [To himself] Is that in Venezuela?
Passerby: Yep.
–1st & 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kate
