Skinny girl #1: … And these guys always want to do blow with me, like all the time, it’s so weird!
Skinny girl #2: Awww, no one ever wants to do blow with me.
Skinny girl #1, whispering loudly: That’s because your ass is the size of Russia.
–Tiffany & Co.
Overheard by: EDW
Cop: There are no downtown express trains! I repeat, there are no downtown express trains. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the President of the United States!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Trixie
Suit on cell: The problem with Canada is that it’s not the U.S.
–129th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Koen
Black guy on cell: Yeah, what is Condoleezza Rice, anyway? I think she’s Puerto Rican or Dominican. She’s definitely not American.
–Barnes & Noble, W 66th St
Black guy to white friend eating lunch: Ah, yes, the American dream: doing nothing while eating a sandwich.
–Stuyvesant High
Hobo: Thirty-two-gallon garbage can — who wants this beautiful 32-gallon garbage can? Made right here in the US-of-A! Come on, people! It’s an American product at Mexican prices. Now, what’s my first bid?
–4th Ave & Atlantic
Overheard by: Mike N
Large black lady on cell: I know, right? Osama bin Laden is like the Uncle Sam of America!
–CVS Pharmacy
Teacher #1: I heard on the radio that the Chinese people are the ones that make the pasta. You know, the noodles.
Teacher #2: I did the research and it is pretty cheap to go to Italy. I wanna go.
–Elevator, 55 Broad St
Overheard by: Rob M
Female attorney: Bush said that America will rebuild Lennon. Why should we? We didn’t bomb them. We have enough problems of our own to worry about. Bush is nuts!
Male attorney: Lennon’s been dead for over 25 years.
–Outside Civil Court, Queens
Overheard by: Big Larry
Filipino girl #1: So, he’s from Bangladesh, right?
White guy: Really? Are you sure? ‘Cause he looks white…
Filipino girl #2: Yeah, but he’s really Filipino. Bangladesh is in Asia, right?
Filipino girl #1: Yeah, but not our part, which is why he doesn’t look completely white like me.
–1 train
Tween boy, pointing at bumper sticker: Cool, Venezuela.
Guy unloading car: No, it says ‘Villanova.’
Tween: What’s that?
Guy: It’s a college.
Tween: Oh. [To himself] Is that in Venezuela?
Passerby: Yep.
–1st & 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kate
Customer: Oh, you go to my school. So, what’s your name?
Employee: Eric* Dominguez…
Customer: Oooh! So, like, you’re Spanish?
Employee: Yeah.
Customer: Oh, that’s cool. So, like, what kind of Spanish person are you?
–Subway restaurant, Queens
Loud girl #1: I lost my sandals at the beach!
Loud girl #2: Oh my God, now it’s probably floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean!
–Bay Terrace Shopping Center, Queens
Overheard by: doesn’t anybody pay attention in global anymo
Guy hearing fireworks go off: Wow! Listen to the fireworks! Or maybe it’s the Soviet Union bombing Manhattan!
Girl, obviously unimpressed: Yeah, they totally need to make a comeback.
–3rd & 5th
Asian girl helping blonde with Japanese assignment: Okay, now tell me about something you would eat.
Blonde: Uhhh… Watashiwa inu o tabemasu…
Asian, exasperated: You don’t eat dogs!
Blonde: Well, in Japan you do!
–Outside University Restaurant, University Place
