Wednesday One-Liners Built the Tower of Babel

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?

–14th & University

Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.

–Walker & Lafayette

Overheard by: Wolf

Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.

–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: nosy cinephile

Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.

–13th & University

Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?

–Office, W 36th St

Overheard by: Evan

Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.

–Tea Lounge, Park Slope

Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!

–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport

White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?

–Walgreens, Union Square

Overheard by: Goldie

Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.

–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St

Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!

–Tompkins Square Park

Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.

–Century 21

Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!

–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th

Overheard by: Shaina

Posted on August 9, 2006
Africans, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Asians, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Cashiers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Death, Fashion, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, History & Geography, Hobos, Japanese, JFK Airport, Kids, Latinos, Manhattan, Men, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, Parents, Park Slope, People, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Students, Suits, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Venues, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People, Women

“Now Let’s Go Get Some Raw Fish Wrapped in Seaweed”

Little girl, pointing to an ad depicting peanut butter and banana on
bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at the ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food…You wouldn’t like it.

–Downtown B train

Headline by: Maniac Moll

Runners-Up:
· “愚かなアメリカ人” – Oog Oog
· “1 Billion Americans Couldn’t be Wrong” – Moze
· “50,000 Elvis Fans Discover They Like Raw Fish” – ED
· “And Why Don’t We Like Chinese Food? That’s Right, ‘Cause They Bombed Pearl Harbour” – Brendan
· “Choosey Moms Choose Eel and Avocodo” – PJ
· “Don’t Tell Me What I Like, You Chink Bitch” – Bevan
· “If You Eat the Wrong Part, You Become a Gorilla” – devin the artist
· “It’s Only Chinese if the Banana Is Small” – Oren K
· “Mommy, it Looks so Much Like Daddy’s Cock Coming Out of Your Asshole.” – Extra Character
· “New Study Finds Confusion Prevents Childhood Obesity” – Booters
· “Technically, Honey, It’s Sashimi” – ED

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 7, 2006
Ethnic Food, Girls, Global Geography, Headline Contest Winners, Idiots, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

She Was Planning on Bermuda, But We Switched Her Plane Ticket

Young woman #1: So my mother-in-law is in Israel now.
Young woman #2: Oh. That really sucks. Bad timing, huh?
Young woman #1: No, I would say it’s perfect timing. I don’t want her to come back.
Young woman #2: True.

–23rd & 2nd

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on August 1, 2006
Families, Global Geography, History & Geography, In-Laws, People

Fawn Hall and Ollie North Do Some Catching Up

Person #1: So, what’s the third state in the tri-state area? I know: New Jersey…Certainly New York. Is it Connecticut?
Person #2: You never hear about a bi-state area.
Person #1: What about Nicaragua. Didn’t you have sex with both a girl and a boy there?
Person #2: I don’t think the country of Nicaragua bases its sense of identity on my sexual exploits.
Person #1: Is Long Island a state?

–9th & Ave A

Posted on July 27, 2006
Global Geography, Idiots, Sex, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village

She Lived in the State of Manhattan, in the County of New York, in the Town of the US

Man: I just got back from the Dominican Republic!
Woman: The Dominican Republic? Where is that? Mexico?

–JFK

Overheard by: Gabi

Posted on July 21, 2006
At the Airport, Global Geography, Stupidity, Travel

She Means the Middle East of Central Europe

Girl #1: Yo, all these places are Greek. Owned by people who are Greek, ya know?
Girl #2: That means they’re from the Middle East, right? Like Yugoslavia and shit.

–28th & Steinway, Astoria

Overheard by: Gregorio

Posted on July 21, 2006
Astoria, Ethnic Food, Food, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, History & Geography, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, People, Places, Queens, Topics

I’m Pretty Sure Africa Has Extradition Now

Guy #1: I’d rape her. I mean, if I were in Africa I’d rape her.
Guy #2: She has a cameraman that knows kung fu, you foul Negro!
Guy #1: After I shoot him in the head, all that kung fu knowledge bleeds out.

–Katra, Bowery & Rivington

Overheard by: Michael Winfield