Guy #1: My ass hurts.
Guy #2: The you should stop being so gay.
–Penn Station
Guy #1: My ass hurts.
Guy #2: The you should stop being so gay.
–Penn Station
Guy: I just don't understand what you see in him.
Girl: He's lazy, irresponsible.
Guy: And stupid!
–Astor Place
Slacker dude #1: I'm the only one at my school who still rolls blunts.
Slacker dude #2: Oh, yeah?
Slacker dude #1: Yeah, they all use joints, but nobody knows how to roll a good blunt. It's like a lost art.
Slacker dude #2: Totally!
–Allen & Delancy
Overheard by: Kyle
Honest woman: I have no maternal instinct. If I had young, I would eat them.
–Artepasta Restaurant
Overheard by: subway phantom
Girl: That wasn't my idea! My idea was cannibalism!
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Girl to another: Can I nibble your butt for a minute?
–Hunter High School
Overheard by: uh oh
Mets fan, yelling at opposing team's right fielder: Don't you look at me, number 47! I'll eat your eyeballs!
–Citifield
Overheard by: Jonathan Abraham
Guy on cell: What do you think about "Horace W. Cannibal?"
–6th & 27th
Overheard by: Eve
Guy to girl: You're going to regret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong salad.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Slender waitress to two large customers: Make sure you finish *all* of that! Especially the celery. That's my favorite part! (they look in disgust)
–Applebee's, Astoria
Yoga clothes-clad girl, loudly to friend: It is not a vegetable. It's a legume!
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Man to woman: So I sayz, "Lady, you're my cuppa tea alright, but I like the occasional cucumber, if you know what I'm sayin'…"
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Mira
Gay guy: I saw people coming out of the woods and I was like, "Aghhh! Corn children!"
–8th & 45th
Overheard by: i'd be scared, too
Sarah Jessica Parker's son: Do you know what kind of lettuce she likes?
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Brooke
Angry woman, venting: Oh, but he doesn't know I scrapbook like a motherfucker.
–M&J Trimming
Girl, screaming: Fuck you, International Baccalaureate!
–Brooklyn
Really angry guy on cell: I'm talkin' about mothafuckin' cookies and apple juice!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Q
Well-dressed black man, addressing entire train: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk to you today about… fucking. You see, everybody likes to fuck. My parents love to fuck. My ex-wife–she loved to fuck. President Obama, he enjoys fucking…
–Q Train
Overheard by: Hunter
Six-year-old girl to mother, ready for day at the beach: Shit, mom! It's fucking raining!
–Q Train
Suit on cell, cheerily: Okay, fuck you, bye!
–7th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: dignell
Cop to 7-Eleven employee: Man, I saw the hottest hooker last night!
–23rd St
White guy: People in Boston really like whoremongering, I guess.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ladle
Man on cell: But I'm the best escort in the country!
–Chelsea
Man on cell: I used to pay for hookers.
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nomo
Man on phone: The Caribbean thing… No, not the prostitute.
–Fulton St
Thugette to boyfriend: You don't have to go to Vegas to get a hooker, honey, you can just go to Atlantic City.
–Staten Island Ferry
Girl: What are all these cops doing here?
Guy: Oh, there was a bomb threat.
Girl: That's not good, we should get out of here.
Guy: If bomb threats make you nervous, than the terrorists have already won.
–7th Ave & 27th St
Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Tater
Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Alice Dalice
Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag.
–East Village
Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva
Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: monkey girl
Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia!
–Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston
Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty?
–Columbus Circle
Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb?
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nora Claire
Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms?
–East Village
Overheard by: bb
Tourist: Is Chinatown closed?
–Canal St
Overheard by: Kristen
Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right?
–42nd St & 6th St
Overheard by: tourists rock
Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer?
–Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field
Overheard by: AJ
