Girl: So, yeah. She's campaigning for the creationists now.
Guy: Noooooooo!
–Columbia Campus
Girl: So, yeah. She's campaigning for the creationists now.
Guy: Noooooooo!
–Columbia Campus
Bearded male hipster on cell: My clit is so stimulated right now! (pause) The communists are attacking! (pause) This is awkward.
–Grassroots Bar
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Guy playing guitar: Look on the bright side, at least we don't have to wait in line for toilet paper anymore. Fucking communists.
–L Train
Overheard by: Milt
Man, seeing another man carrying large box of cereal from warehouse store: That's the biggest box of Cheerios I've seen since we lived on the commune!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Janine
Young, normally-dressed guy, to no one in particular: Your President is a commie scumbag, and he owes me money.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Teenage Guido on cell: The beer is staying in Marine Park. (pause) Yeah, we're going to Rockaway, but the beer is staying in Marine Park. In the alley. My alley! (pause) Yes! You don't understand English, dude!
–Burger King
Overheard by: Laura E.
Guy on cell: I'm always skeptical of people these days who say they want to go out in the Lower East Side. That makes me think they went to Trinity or Duke, and that they suck.
–S. Portland & Fulton
Guy on cell: This is a superficial neighborhood. They'll only hire you if you're young and hot.
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: didn't know my hood was superficial
Tan guy to messenger guy: So what kind of gay are you? Park Slope gay?
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Guy on cell, triumphantly: We're in the Financial District, bitch!
–Financial District
50-something man to friends: Have you heard about Twitter? It's a new way of communicating in short text messages. Each message is called a twoo… No, a tween. No, a twain. No, a twat… No, that's certainly not it.
–Lobby, Off Broadway Theater
Overheard by: another electric guy
Guy with iPhone: I have to twitter! Does the girl with the room above the high line know she's topless?
–The High Line
Woman, while waiting for film to start: Joan Rivers just tweeted.
–Chelsea Clearview Cinemas
Guy on cell: All those food trucks? I'm not into them, but those fucking homosexuals follow them on twitter.
–Waverly Place & MacDougal
Overheard by: Sally
Unassuming hipster with group of girl friends: Sometimes I drink just so I can tweet drunk.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Middle aged woman dressed like a teen, hitting on baseball fan: Your cat could definitely have a twitter page.
–F Train
Brunette girl: (enters elevator and stares angrily at Asian girl next to her, then leaves elevator)
Asian girl, to guy next to her: Oh my god!
Guy: What?
Asian girl: That was the same girl! I stuck a dildo in her mouth while we were all drunk last night.
Guy: Haha.
Asian girl: I don't know why she's mad at me. Like, what's the big deal, get over it.
Guy: Yeah, seriously.
–Chelsea
Guy to girl: Just because I slept with you doesn't mean we get to be Facebook friends!
Girl, in Southern accent: Oh, shoot!
–14 St & Ave B
Overheard by: Obducomiapint
Guy: I'm hanging with Ray tonight. You know Ray?
Girl: Yeah, I know him! I used to sit on his face!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Rocco
Guy to girl smoking cigarette: Didn't your mother tell you smoking is bad for you?
Girl: Didn't your mother tell you never to talk to strangers?
–181st & Broadway
Employee: They tryin' to tell me I'm bipolar. I ain't bipolar; I just a overprotective parent.
–Chock Full o' Nuts, W 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Calm woman: The thing about being a therapist is that, well, you're just a band-aid.
–W 3rd St
Dude, introducing himself: So, uh, my therapist thinks I'm ready to start dating again.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Eight-year-old with older man to cashier: He's not my father, he's my therapist.
–Deli, Upper West Side
Man on phone: Wait, so she bit you? Dude! Wait, what? She punched you? Oh, you went to punch her? Dude, you punched her?
–Penn Station
Too young for final stage alcoholism guy: I totally held my own. I knocked the girl out and fucked the guy up.
–10th St & Ave A
Gangster: Next time I see him, I'ma kick him in his good leg.
–Uptown F Train
Softball-player-looking girl to friends: If you ever wear a tiara at your wedding, I'm going to punch you in the face.
–Wagner Park
Overheard by: mclaire
Young mother to others: Yeah, but you hafta be careful. You can't just hit your kids in public.
–Rivington & Essex
Overheard by: verbal abuse ftw!
Boyfriend to girlfriend: But if I punch you in the throat you will stop breathing.
–SoHo
Teen girl: Did you see that? I almost punched Ira's glass in the chest! That was awesome!
–AMC Theater, 19th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katie
