Girl to guy, over walkie-talkie phone: Okay, I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be right down.
Friend: What happened to being ladylike and shit? Telling us she's going to the bathroom!
–125th St & Broadway
Girl to guy, over walkie-talkie phone: Okay, I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be right down.
Friend: What happened to being ladylike and shit? Telling us she's going to the bathroom!
–125th St & Broadway
Hot guy: Oh, by the way, did I tell you my girlfriend headbutted me?
Blonde: What? During sex?
Hot guy: Yeah, she gave me a bloody nose.
Blonde: Rough. Did you keep at it after the blood?
Hot guy: Yes.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Sam Dullard
Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Guy: Pinkberry is right across the street from Red Mango.
Girl: That's awkward.
Guy: I know, I'm awkward about it.
–St. Marks Place
White girl: Opera.
Salvadoran guy: Like the black chick?
White girl: No, that's Oprah.
–Lawton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eric Frazier
Woman to male companion: I told you about that guy I accidentally slept with, right?
–Bar at Sushi Samba, 7th Ave
Overheard by: David Russo
Girl to friend: Because it is more than just, sexual, you know? (pause) Well, actually, it's not, but…
–14th b/w 6th & 7th
Man to woman: You know Mesopotamian sex? That's me.
–Washington Square Park
Man walking dog on cell: My number one conquest since coming here was a 21-year-old Native American.
–27th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Mom, how am I supposed to have sex on a bed that has wheels?
–15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Steve Hofstetter
Guy: So I fucked her on a bench, but I didn't finish, because I kept telling her about my girlfriend and how much I love her. So she got pissed of and took a taxi home to her parents.
–5th Ave
40-something man: Just tell that landlord that you don't need no electricity or no cable because you gonna be makin' love all the damn time!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: tracey
Cop to another, about uniform and belt: I can't run in this thing.
–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Sandy Riverside
Random guy, watching 300-pound gangster being arrested: He was throwing the police around like pancakes!
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Alex
Guy with garbage bag of purses on St. Patrick's Day: Leprechaun stole my pot o' gold and left me these damn bags! Who wants to buy some stolen shit while the cops are drinking?
–46th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Madeline
Police officer to another: He knew I was on the force, and that nigga still gave me a ticket for speeding!
–1 Train
Female train conductor: Nigga, I hate them undercover cops! Always holding the doors! You can never be sure if they cops or if they just guys with gats!
–1 Train
Guy: She should be taking on an extra load now.
Girl: She should be taking everyone's load.
–PATH
20-something guy #1: I don't need, like, a mansion, or a million cars, just a job that pays enough to live and get around and, you know, have a lot of clothes.
20-something guy #2: Dude, but then you get married and she takes all the money. I'm telling you, every paycheck goes right in her purse.
–Broadway & 87th St.
Overheard by: married for love
Girl: So why'd she break up with him?
Guy: Apparently, she didn't let him “tour her garden.”
Girl: Not even a little?
Guy: She didn't even open the gate.
–Millennium High School
