Long-haired dude: You penised his penis with your penis!
Creepy chick: Dude! That’s, like, penis cubed!
Long-haired dude: Damn. How many penises is that?
Creepy chick: Well, three. Penis times penis times penis. Duh.
–56th & Lex
Overheard by: i never passed math
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
Suave guy: Where are you from?
Drunk girl: New Jersey!
Suave guy: Oh, yeah? That's cool!
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Guy #1: I finished my basement this weekend.
Guy #2: You finally finished it!
Guy #2: Yeah, it's now a finished basement.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Ron
Black guy #1: I got Allison a gift for Valentine's Day.
Black guy #2: I also got Allison a gift.
Black guy #1: Wait, black Allison?
–6 Train
Asian girl: She said she let him do her in the butt for drugs!
Asian guy: That’s weird because she’s so conservative.
–E 9th St
Dude #1: Oh, The Spiderwick Chronicles is out!
Dude #2 (in awe): Dude, did you see that?
Dude #1: Yeah, it was amazing!
Dude #2: Yeah? How were the graphics?
Dude #1: Dude–amazing!
Dude #2: Dude–you have braces!
Dude #1: Yeah, dude, I told you. God!
–Blockbuster
Overheard by: brianfair
Headline by: mike
Runners-Up:
· “And the Winner for Youngest Bro Of the Week Goes To….” – jumpstop
· “Ashton Kutcher Needs to Stop Producing Reality TV” – D. Emmy
· “Even Siskel & Ebert Had to Start Somewhere.” – space coyote
· “Life Imitates Ashton Kutcher Films…” – Duuude
· “Someone’s Getting Laid Tonight!” – lisa
Trashy Jersey bimbo, looking around the room: I've made out with almost everyone in here.
Trashy Jersey dude: You're a slut!
–10th & 18th
Lady: Can you tell us how to get to Central Park?
Guy: It’s a pretty big park. Do you know where you want to go in Central Park?
Lady: We want to go where the perverts are.
–GWB bus station
Overheard by: dirtylesbian
Girl: The polar ice caps are melting…
Guy #1: Yeah, ’cause of global warming!
Guy #2: Um…it’s summertime.
–F train
Overheard by: cupcake
