Guy #1: Man, I feel really, like, weird. I don’t know how to explain it!
Guy #2: I do, man. One word: muchachos.
–Wall St
Guy #1: Man, I feel really, like, weird. I don’t know how to explain it!
Guy #2: I do, man. One word: muchachos.
–Wall St
Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby.
–Uptown A Train
Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no.
–East Village
Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding!
–N Train
Overheard by: wasn't even invited
Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring!
–40th & Madison Ave
Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing.
–9th & 15th
Overheard by: Courtney
Guy #1: Did you know that I never liked broccoli until I went to jail?
Guy #2: Is it your favorite meal?
Guy #1: Of course!
–Porto-bello, Thompson Street
Thick Brooklyn accent guy #1: Ten-dollar drinks, fifteen-dollar burgers…that's how these strip clubs get you.
Thick Brooklyn accent guy #2: Yeah man, forget the food. I'm a fucking Pussetarian.
–W 34th St & Broadway
Worried-looking middle aged guy to passers-by: Am I walking Uptown?
Indifferent New Yorker: Yeah.
Worried-looking middle aged guy, face collapsing: Oh, no.
–114th & Broadway
NYU professor: And so the Chinese invented statistics to take censuses. (to girl) Would you have been counted?
Girl: Um… Yes?
Guy: No, because they only counted men in the censuses.
Professor: Right, because this was back in the good old days, when men were men and women were washing machines.
–NYU Kaufman Building
Overheard by: Erin
Guy #1: You know, you never would have even heard of Halloween if I hadn’t told you about it.
Guy #2: Whatever.
–9th Ave & 15th St
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Guy on cell: She goes to school in Pittsburgh. She’s second rate. We go to school in New York. We know who we are.
–Astor Place
Guy on cell: No, no. We only look down on people we’re helping.
–Broadway & Fulton
Wet dude: I should not have to walk in the rain! I am a very important person!
–71st Rd & Queens Blvd, Forest Hills
Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?
–Barracuda
Overheard by: barkeeper
Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here
Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?
–N Train
Overheard by: D-Law
Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?
–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: jennyooooo
Student: Is Swedish even a language?
–Columbia University
Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?
–M86 Crosstown Bus
Homie #1: Drugs is huge, man, huge! If there wasn’t no drugs, there’d be no police! No drugs, no lawyers! No drugs, no judges! Nobody would be in prison! All those guards, no jobs! The whole prison system would collapse! No drugs, nobody in the hospitals! Doctors out of work… Drugs is too big! We’re a big part of the economy! Nobody is gonna touch drugs, man, so chill. We need drugs!
Homie #2: True dat.
–125th & Lenox
