Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI
Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!
–Astor Place
Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?
–9th St, Park Slope
Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?
–NYU
Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.
–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Mad
Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.
–Broadway
Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!
–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Girl #1: His back was so hairy! His back hair was like thick curls!
Girl #2: Ew! Ew! Ugh, whatever. It’s a good thing he dumped you. At least you don’t have to deal with that.
Girl #1: Ah, yes, I was dumped by the yeti. Fuckin’ fantastic.
–Library, Columbia University
Older brunette woman: I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde, and maybe I'll even dye the hedges!
Older red-haired woman: Is that safe?
Older brunette woman: Hm. Let's google it!
–CVS Pharmacy
Friend #1: I usually like nothing there.
Friend #2: I like to shave mine.
Friend #3: You shave? I pluck.
Friend #4: I just trim mine.
–Restaurant, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Missy
Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.
–W 8th & Broadway
Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.
–Robert Louis Stevenson School
Overheard by: Lucas
Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.
–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.
–9th St. and 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Ingwall
Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.
–Bowery & Rivington
Four-year-old-boy: And there was a girl. And she had rainbow hair, and rainbow clothes, and a tattoo that was a rainbow, and rainbow socks.
Mother: What about her?
Four-year-old-boy: She picked her nose!
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl: What is this?
Guy: Orange juice!
Girl: (pause)
Guy: I mean anti-freeze!
–29th & Madison
Overheard by: AlphaBeta
Woman: Two words: bikini wax.
Man: No…no!
–80th & York
Girl #1: You wanna hear something, like, totally outrageous?
Girl #2: Always!
Girl #1: …One side of my hair grows faster than the other.
Girl #2: No way! That’s so weird.
Girl #1: Yeah! Like, the right side grows faster than the left side, and I have to show up at a salon and have them cut off the right side but not the left.
Girl #2: …You’re weird.
–Carmine’s, West 44th Street
