Girl #1: So I got that, like, Wal-stat stuff. Whatever the generic brand of Monistat is.
Girl #2: Dude, don’t skimp when it comes to your vagina. That’s an area where you really want quality.
Girl #1: Says the girl who slept with John!
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: djlindee
Old woman #1: … so now I have to go all the way downtown, because I’ve been getting these death threats from this man.
Old woman #2: And when is your surgery?
Old woman #1: I missed it because I was so distracted by the threats.
–Bx7 bus
Overheard by: me and my grandma, sitting behind them
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
Girl: He had so much damn earwax!
Guy: Girl, I know… Sleeping with boys like that is just so awkward.
–The Hudson Hotel
Conductor: Barf between the cars, asshole!
–PATH train
Girl on phone: Well… We can cuddle, and then I’ll be like, ‘Get off!’ and then I’ll puke, okay?
–JJ’s Place, Columbia University
Overheard by: Rachel Lindsay
Girlfriend pushing drunken boyfriend through crowd, to bystander: Work with me here, baby — he’s throwing up all over you, and you’re still not moving.
–Rained-out Game Two, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Alison Steedman & Jeff Gilbert
Woman: There’s no better time to scream your boyfriend’s name than when you’re puking all over his bed.
–Party, 16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: McFreaky
Little girl: 50 dollars. But if you vomit, it’s free!
–76th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Rachel
Lady with accent pointing at man hunched over seat: Oh, is he throw up?
–4 train
Overheard by: fellow rider who also didn’t sit
Little boy to baby brother: Stop throwing up on me!
–3rd Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Lady: I was down in Tijuana getting some dental work done, and I fell asleep in the chair. Best sleep I ever had! They should sedate me more often.
Girl (under her breath): I couldn’t agree more.
–audience waiting room for the Tony Danza Show
Overheard by: Renee B.
Guy: You in need of a husband?
Woman: I’ve got the clap.
–N train
Overheard by: Camille Marquis
Gay boyfriend #1: I'm so disappointed. I really didn't like that as much as mine.
Gay boyfriend #2: You think yours is better?
Gay boyfriend #1: Definitely! Next time I'm bringing my own soap.
–City Opera
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Teen scene girl: And that's a whole fucking different story! You always said you wanted to die having a heart attack in a car!
–57th & 3rd
Overheard by: Duluthian
Guy in line: I haven't had a corn dog since Jim Belushi died.
–Nathan's, Coney Island
Creepy guy on cell: Hey. Did you hear about the Craigslist killer? Yeah, isn't that a great idea?
–Penn Station
20-something irritated man on cell: Dude, stop freaking out! They're probably not going to do the autopsy for another three days.
–8th Ave & 15th St
Conductor: Please, no one cross cars, if the train makes a turn you will fall through, get crushed and die, thank you and have a lovely evening. Oh, and it's lovely to be alive.
–Amtrak Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Paige
Guy #1: I took the day off. I’m going up to Long Island City to see the doctor.
Guy #2: Oh yeah? What’s the matter?
Guy #1: I have to get this boil looked at.
Guy #2: Sorry to hear that.
Guy #1: Yeah, well…normally it’s not a problem. I just pop it and it all goes away, but this one, man, I’ve popped it three times and it’s still big and painful as hell. Normally I don’t complain about these things, but man, this one is right below my balls…and it’s killing me! They tell me it’s a hair growing the wrong way. How does a hair do that?
–A train
